Going Green
by DoofusPrime
Summary: Ron, jealous of Kim's new relationship with Josh Mankey, decides to ask Bonnie Rockwaller on a date. Meanwhile, Drakken accidentally sprays himself with a very dangerous serum. Have they both gotten themselves into a sitch from which they cannot escape?
1. Best Laid Plans

**Going Green,** by DoofusPrime

_**Notes: **This story was the winner of MrDrP's "Valentine's Day Eye Eye Eye" contest, which was held on the Kim Possible Discussion forum. Thanks to MrDrP for choosing this as the winner! Also, this story takes place after the episode "Blush", but it is not necessary to have seen the episode to read or understand the story. Enjoy!_

___**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. This work was not created for profit. No copyright infringement is intended._

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**Best Laid Plans**

XX

Kim could swear that she was floating in the air. She lay stretched across the sheets of her loft room bed, legs dangling over its edge, arms wrapped over a pillow which her hands clenched gleefully. The bed was a balloon on the verge of sailing out her open window. It was a magic carpet, taking her for a ride. She was on cloud nine.

"Oh, it was amazing, Ron! Everything was just perfect!"

Ron sat in a desk chair which he had turned around from the computer in order to face Kim's bed. His legs were crossed as he leaned lazily to the side. The palm of his hand cupped a chin and propped up a face that was skeptically observing Kim's joy. Ron had been listening to his best friend talk about her date with Josh Mankey for the last hour. The date had happened the previous night, but Kim had called her best friend to come over tonight so she could talk about it. The date sure didn't sound perfect to Ron. Embarrassment ninjas? Whoopee cushions? For the love of all that is good and holy, french fries dipped in a milk shake? It sounded like Ron's idea of a nightmare. Not to mention Kim had almost embarrassed herself out of existence before Ron came to the rescue.

"Sounds like you had a good time, KP. You guys gonna go out again?"

"Oh, definitely! You should have seen the kiss at the end of the date, it was magical!"

"I'll just imagine that one, thanks."

Kim sighed as she stared up at the ceiling with a smile. Everything about Josh was so dreamy. Those hypnotic blue eyes, that frosted hair, his good-natured laugh, the crazy things he did with milkshakes. Ron had told her in the past that she could get any guy she wanted, and while she was crushing on Josh, she remembered Ron's comment that Josh would be crazy to turn her down if she could just ask him out. But Josh had actually called her! It had been the best Friday night she could remember.

"So Kim, what's up tomorrow? You wanna go chill at Bueno Nacho?"

"No, Josh and I are going to be hanging out. He's going to show me some of his artwork!"

Ron felt his eye begin to twitch. Kim and Josh were hanging out that fast? So much for his lazy weekend plans with his best friend. He really was happy for Kim – she had seemed so hung up over Josh, so unlike her usual self, that it was nice for her to finally get what she wanted - but something about it bothered him.

He got up and stretched his arms out in an exaggerated fashion. "Alright, well, it's getting a bit late. I guess I'm gonna go home and hit the sack! I'm glad you had a nice date, KP."

Ron waited for a response, but Kim only nodded vaguely at him. As he walked down the loft stairs, Ron began to feel increasingly annoyed as he thought of his friend's behavior. He walked by Anne Possible in a huff on his way to the front door. Kim's mother was sitting at the kitchen table, looking through some work notes, and noticed Ron's strange behavior as he passed by.

"Hello Ron, everything alright? You usually don't leave this early."

"Yeah, I'm cool Mrs. Dr. P. Cool as a cucumber. Definitely not upset by Kim or anything. Josh? Who said anything about Josh?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Uhh... gotta go!" Ron exited the house in a hurry and leaped onto the blue scooter parked in the driveway. Why was this bothering him so much? Ron glowered, deep in thought, as the scooter puttered steadily down the road. Josh wasn't such a bad guy, really. A very unfortunate last name perhaps, but Ron admitted that holding Josh's name against him would be calling the kettle black. And Ron was no pot.

As Ron continued to think about the one-sided conversation that had taken place in Kim's loft, he realized that Kim had never thanked him for saving her life. Not once. Ron and Wade had both told her to stay in her room until Ron could get back from the Amazon with the antidote, and yet she almost embarrassed herself out of existence by risking a date with Josh. Ron almost got eaten by a jungle cat to save her, and this was the thanks he got? Not to mention the Amazonian rain forest was probably teeming with monkeys. Ron wasn't really sure, but it was a jungle. That's where monkeys lived! Okay, so he hadn't actually seen any, but it was a close call. Risking monkeys for Mankey... Ron suddenly felt like he was being walked on. He felt a dark weight in the pit of his stomach as the scooter inched its way towards his house.

The weight suddenly twisted and turned, melting away as a thought took hold of his mind. His sour expression reshaped itself into a smile. Josh didn't get walked on. He had gotten what he wanted by taking the initiative. Maybe Ron would take a page from Mankey's book!

XX

"Foiled again! Curse that Kim Possible!"

Drakken crossed his arms in a huff as he sat at the round operations table of his lair. Various papers were scattered over the table, covered in scribbles and poorly drawn diagrams of Kim Possible holding her hand to her mouth in embarrassment. A tiny blue fist slammed against the table in frustration. Drakken could have sworn this latest plan was unbeatable – what better way to defeat a teen than use their own insecurity against them? And Kim was on a first date, no less! Drakken did not count on this particular teen's ego having such a thick white underbelly.

"You know, if it makes you feel any better Doctor D, I actually thought it was a halfway decent plan. Doomed to fail of course, but some good laughs along the way!"

The blue villain ignored Shego's barbed compliment as he paced anxiously around the room. He noticed a foul odor emanating from his body; it was the B.O. canister that had been thrown into their hovercraft. He regretted hiring embarrassment ninjas to try to humiliate his foe. Hopefully the smell would be washed out in the laundry. Drakken racked his brain to figure out where he had gone wrong, but he could not think of anything. Maybe Kim Possible really was all that.

Drakken looked at the spraying nozzle and backpack filled with serum that he had tried using in his failed scheme. The serum, made from a tropical flower, had the unique effect of causing anyone sprayed with it to gradually disappear if they were embarrassed enough. It had almost worked on that blasted red-haired teen, at least until her sidekick – whatever his name was - had cured her at the last second.

"Arrrggghhh! Useless thing!" Drakken smacked the plastic backpack filled with embarrassment serum in a sudden burst of anger. The pack fell over, sending the nozzle whipping into the air as it released a spray of noxious vapor into Drakken's face. He backed away, blinking in surprise, and attempted to wipe the vapor away from his face. Unfortunately, it had already dissipated.

"Did you _seriously_ just do that? Oh, man. Smooth move Doctor D!" Shego doubled over in laughter.

"Shego! This is not amusing! I don't have any antidote with me!"

The black-haired sidekick's head tilted back as she laughed harder. "No antidote? Oh man, Doctor D, this must be really embarrassing for you!"

Drakken stumbled around aimlessly, not sure what to do. Hearing Shego's comment, he stopped and held his hands out in horror as they faded away into nothingness. "Noooo!"

Shego stared at the scene before her and stopped laughing. She still found the situation amusing, but she decided that Drakken wasn't so annoying that she wanted him to wink out of existence. Not yet, at least.

"Why in the world don't you have any antidote?"

"It's the pollen from the same tropical flower that creates the embarrassment serum itself. I used all of my supply in creating the serum because I wanted as much as I could create in order to defeat Kim Possible!"

Shego held up her hands. "Ok, chill out. This is no big deal, we'll just have to get you the antidote while you stay here in the lair. Nothing to be embarrassed about in here... that I know of, anyways. So, I forgot what you mentioned earlier - where can I get this flower again?"

Drakken was silent for a moment as he considered his response to the question.

"Promise you won't hit me, Shego?"

XX

A pleasant breeze brushed against Bonnie Rockwaller's tanned skin from her open bedroom window. It rustled some of the lighter articles of colorful clothing that were scattered around her floor and bedspread. A pair of closet doors hung open, revealing a row of hangars illuminated by the harsh closet light and mostly bereft of clothing. Bonnie was reorganizing her wardrobe and deciding what was out of fashion. She did not want to leave her room and deal with her family, but more importantly, she needed something to occupy her time. If she wasn't busy with something, she'd be thinking about Brick.

She had broken up with her quarterback boyfriend a few days ago, yet again. Bonnie had lost track of how many times they had broken up and gotten back together again, but this time she swore it would be the last. Brick was not a bad guy, but he could be insensitive, and wasn't really very interesting at all. In her meaner moments, of which there were many, Bonnie thought his name was an apt description of his intelligence. Brick was a useful trophy boyfriend – built like a Greek God, star of the football team – but to be honest, she was just tired of him. She needed a new boy with which to toy. But who fit the bill?

Bonnie jumped as the cell phone on her bedside table rang out. She flipped it open but did not recognize the number of the caller. "Hello?" she asked curiously.

"Hey, is this the residence of Bonnie Rockwaller?"

"Speaking!"

"Oh hey Bonnie! It's Ron. Ron Stoppable?"

Bonnie sat on the side of her bed with the phone cradled against her ear and a completely blank expression on her face. Ron Stoppable? Kim's non-boyfriend-friend? Calling her?

"Okay... hi."

"Hi Bonnie. It's Ron."

"Yes, you said that. How did you get my cell number?"

"It's listed in the yearbook. Right under your personal quote, you know, 'Available for modeling work, no job too sexy'. That's just begging for prank calls by the way."

"Believe me, I know that now." Bonnie remembered the week after the yearbook had been distributed. That had been an uncomfortable week. "So why are you calling me?"

"Bonnie, let's go out on a date."

Outside Bonnie's bedroom window, her neighborhood was quiet except for the chirping of crickets and the passing of an occasional car. Lights turned on in nearby houses as the pleasant silence of the cool spring air was pierced by a laugh that could be heard from blocks away.

"What makes you think you're allowed to date me, loser?"

"Come on Bonnie, you know you're secretly intrigued by the Ron man. I got lots to offer!"

"Such as?"

The voice on the other side of Bonnie's phone fell silent.

Bonnie smirked. "That is _so_ convincing, Ronnie!"

"Okay, look. I'll just come right out and say it. I'm kind of annoyed with Kim right now, and we both know you take any chance to get under her skin, so I guess I'm proposing to you."

"_What_?"

"No, I mean, giving you a proposal. A proposition, I'm propositioning – look, I'm saying, let's go out, and it will annoy Kim, okay?"

Bonnie listened with what she hated to admit was increasing interest. However, she was still a bit confused. "Why would that bug Kim? You guys aren't an item, unless you're holding out on me here. Are you?"

"No, we're just friends. But you and Kim are at each other's throats all the time. You're like Britina and she's like that other girl that Britina's always fighting with. You know, on _True Tinseltown Tales_!"

"The point, Ron, get there faster! I'm bored!" Bonnie stared at her nails, trying to feign disinterest even though Ron could not see her through the phone. For Bonnie, feigning disinterest in people lower on the food chain that her was something akin to breathing, or doing well at cheering. It was just second nature.

"I'm Kim's best friend, Bonnie. At least that's what I thought. If we're going out, you're one-upping her. You're walking all over her girl territory! You're basically squatting down and marking -"

"Do _not_ finish that sentence."

Bonnie had to admit she was very intrigued. She would never have considered going out with Ron, but somehow she knew there was not much else she could do that would annoy Kim more. Not only that, but there was no telling what kinds of delicious dirt she could dig up on Kim through her dorky best friend.

Being seen with Ron in public could be a major problem, though - what effect would it have on her position in the food chain? As Bonnie considered it further, she realized that she was the one who made a lot of those food chain rules in the first place. If she was seen going out with Ron, then Ron would go up in status at least temporarily, just because Bonnie said so. Not only that, but she could tell her friends she was doing it as a joke, just to toy with Ron and Kim. She decided that this sudden opportunity was interesting enough to be worth the risk. But what if it was a trap?

"How do I know you're serious about this, Ron? I'm not saying I don't like the sudden mean streak, but you and Kim have been friends for a while. What's with the scheming?"

"That's my business. I just don't want to be taken for granted anymore. Maybe this will open up Kim's eyes a bit." After a pause, Ron added, "We don't even really have to go out on a date if you don't want to. We can just let her see us at school a couple times like we're going out, that's all."

Bonnie made up her mind. Trick or no trick, she couldn't resist passing it up. Besides, she needed something amusing to keep her mind off of Brick and her family, and this would do the job nicely. Still, she wanted to meet Ron tomorrow, before the weekend was over, and see if this was for real.

"Okay dork, I'm interested. But we need to meet sometime before we go back to school on Monday. Why don't you pick me for dinner tomorrow evening at seven?"

"Alright, badical!"

Bonnie spoke sweetly into the phone. "You show up or you'll be in deep trouble, Ronnie. See you then!"

Bonnie hung up and considered the strange opportunity that had just fallen into her lap. Ron could prove useful in many ways. She propped up her leg against the side of the bed and began to stretch, preparing to work on a few cheering and dancing moves, since she was tired of organizing her clothing. There was an upcoming cheer contest in a couple of weeks for which she – along with most of the cheer squad – had been practicing hard. Kim would be competing; with Ron on her side, perhaps Bonnie could throw a wrench in Kim's plans. Or maybe she could get Ron to find out what Kim was planning and make some changes to her own routine. Yes, Ron could be useful indeed.


	2. In Too Deep

**In Too Deep**

XX

A bead of sweat dropped from Ron's forehead as he inspected the silverware in front of him. He was sitting at a table covered in fine silk tablecloth and topped with an array of several eating utensils. Multiple types of forks, spoons, and knives were arranged in front of him like a taunt. Ron may have had a flair for the culinary arts, but he didn't realize that one needed more than a single fork or knife to eat a meal. However, Bonnie had insisted they spend their Sunday evening at Chez Couteaux, which apparently did not go by Ron's eating philosophy.

The waiter arrived at their table and placed Ron's appetizer in front of him as Bonnie stared across the table in mild distaste at her date for the evening. "Will there be anything else, sir?" asked the waiter.

"Yes, my good man, do you have any coloring books?" Ron gulped as he noticed the withering glare that Bonnie shot across the table. "On second thought, I'm good!"

He picked a spoon at random and began to sip his soup, noticing from Bonnie's expression that the spoon had probably been the wrong choice for the job. Bonnie snapped her table napkin in the air to unfold it, and then laid it carefully across her lap. She watched her dinner companion's sips rapidly change into gulps as he wolfed down the rest of his soup.

"Alright Ron, what's the plan here? You're just trying to make Kim jealous or something?"

"Well, kind of. Maybe not jealous. But once she sees me spending time with you, she'll regret spending so much time with Josh."

"I thought you said her first date with Josh was a couple nights ago?"

"Yeah, but I can already see what's going to happen. All she did after her date was talk about him, and she blew me off today to spend more time with him. This is just like with Walter Nelson! She was obsessed with him."

Ron remembered how Walter Nelson had monopolized Kim's attention. It was a good thing about the braces incident, because otherwise Kim might have stopped hanging out with Ron entirely. Kim always had a weak spot for the good looking types. Ron remembered Walter looking vaguely like a twelve year old version of Brad Pitt with braces. _Yes, that was exactly what he looked like_, Ron told himself darkly.

He shook off the unpleasant memories and noticed Bonnie looking slightly bored at the other end of the table. "To be honest, I'm kinda surprised you agreed to this," he said.

Bonnie shrugged. "Anything that makes Kim Possible angry is cool with me. Anyway, this is an excuse to get out of my house."

"Why do you want to get out of your house?"

"Family issues. I just don't want to be around my sisters. They've been such a pain lately... Lonnie is getting married soon and Connie just got a new promotion at her fashion magazine job. They _never_ let you hear the end of it."

"Sorry about that."

Bonnie began to feel a little uncomfortable about her openness with Ron. She had not intended to tell him about her personal life – they certainly weren't close – but Ron did not seem like someone who would use it against her. Still, she was surprised at how quickly she had let her defenses down.

"Thanks," Ron said to the waiter as he returned with the main courses and placed them on the table. Bonnie had ordered a steak, rare, while Ron had gotten lamp chops with mint sauce and a side of saffron rice. He dipped a piece of lamb in the sauce and took a bite.

"Sauce is alright," he mumbled through a mouthful of lamb. "Could use a little less lime juice, though."

Bonnie felt a strange thrill at his condescending tone. "What are you, some kind of cook?"

"I'm pretty good at it, yes."

"Interesting." Bonnie would not have pegged Ron as a good cook. He was always eating at Bueno Nacho with Kim, after all. She took a bite of her steak. She liked the meat red, almost raw. There was something about red meat that made her feel, well... carnivorous. As she stared across the table at Ron, she wondered whether what other surprises the loser might be hiding.

XX

Kim walked up to a wrought-iron gate that was placed between two rows of hedges bordering the road. She opened the gate and followed a slate path through the yard to a small, cozy house built from red brick. She was dressed casually but tastefully in black pants, a light green short sleeved shirt, and her favorite choker. She had no coat with her since the weather was a bit warmer than it had been on her first date with Josh, and she was not in any immediate danger of disappearing from embarrassment.

A light turned on in the entryway of the house as she rang the doorbell. The door opened, revealing a somewhat pudgy older man with a mustache and glasses. "Ah, you must be Josh's new lucky lady!" exclaimed the man. "Come on in!"

"Hi! Nice to meet you Mr. Mankey."

"Josh is down in the basement waiting for you. Would you like anything to drink?"

"No, that's alright. I think I'll go right down!"

Kim walked down the carpeted basement stairs and saw Josh sitting on a couch in front of a television set. The basement looked like a cozy place to hang out – there was a foosball table, an acoustic guitar that sat atop a stand in the corner, and several easels set up in various places around the room, some holding paintings. One corner of the room also held a bed and a bookcase.

"Hey Kim, welcome to casa de Josh!"

"Hey Josh! Thanks for inviting me over. Do you sleep down here?"

"Yeah, this is my room, basically. I figured there was more room down here to relax and put up my paintings."

"Spankin'!" Kim walked over to an easel that held a particularly colorful painting. "Why don't you show me some of these. What's this one?"

Josh got up from the couch and stood next to her, inspecting the painting. "Well, I wanted to capture the essence of romantic feeling in this one. It's kind of abstract, impressionistic I guess. I always say, it's not about painting something you see, so much as it's about painting the human experience. You know what I mean?"

Kim nodded, although she wasn't really paying as much attention to the painting as she was to the sound of Josh's voice. "Oh yeah. I know _exactly_ what you mean."

XX

Shego flew at a low altitude over the Amazon rainforest in her green and black mini-jet, looking for a suitable place to land. Her GPS indicator showed her the location of the valley she was looking for – apparently, the flowers only grew in remote sections of the Amazon, most commonly in one particular valley – but the rainforest canopy was far too thick for her to land anywhere she wanted. She peered out of the glass cockpit window, observing the tree line below her, and after a few moments she noticed it stop abruptly and shift to a relatively flat landscape. This would do well for a landing, she thought.

As the jet began to touch down, a billowing plume of ashy smoke was thrown up into the air. Shego climbed out of the cockpit and removed her helmet, letting her black hair spill down to her waist. The ground she had landed on was clear for a good distance around, but she saw that it was dark, dotted with various tree stumps and broken branches. The landscape looked like it had been burned – perhaps there was some kind of recent forest fire.

Shego groaned as she began to trek towards the tree line of the rainforest that had not been affected by the fire. The things she did for Drakken were unbelievable. When Drakken told her that his embarrassment spray was created from a flower called the Aurora Orchid found in the Amazon, and that he did not have the antidote with him, Shego had been incredulous. She seriously considered whether or not his disappearing act was such a bad thing. Here she was, walking into a rainforest and hoping some random native could clue her in. She had better be getting a big bonus check this year.

As Shego traipsed across the barren expanse of land, she noticed some activity along the tree line where the jungle began. It looked as if several small fires were in fact still raging, surrounded by people yelling in a language Shego did not recognize. A mechanical noise caught Shego's attention; she noticed a flatbed truck driving towards her from another direction, gaining ground rapidly. A group of men stood in the back of the truck, shouting things she did not understand, but they seemed to be directed at her. Several of them had guns.

Shego suddenly realized why the burned out clearing was there. She had landed right into a slash and burn operation. Probably to create farmland or gather wood and charcoal for the market. Probably illegal, judging by the angry people with guns. Shego considered lighting her fists into flame as the truck pulled to a stop beside her, but based on the heavy armament pointed in her face, it looked like the new arrivals were not interested in giving her any openings.

"Nice day, isn't it boys?" She said as she raised her arms in surrender.

The truck driver barked a command in what Shego assumed was Portuguese, and one of the passengers in the truck's bed pulled out a pistol. He aimed it at Shego's chest and fired a red dart into her flesh. Shego looked down at the dart in surprise. _That's just not playing fair_, she thought. Her eyes rolled back into her head as she collapsed to the ground.

XX

Ron Stoppable would normally have been enjoying the bright summer morning as he rode his scooter down the familiar street to his best friend's house, but he was starting to feel a little apprehensive. Was this whole weird arrangement with Bonnie such a good idea? He was still upset with Kim, but he hadn't really planned out exactly what he wanted to get out of any of this. He just had the vague intention of getting under Kim's skin, but perhaps he was overreacting to the whole Kim and Josh sitch.

"What do you think, Rufus?"

The naked mole rat looked up from the scooter's basket, where he had been poking his head out from the side and enjoying the breeze that brushed past his whiskers. "Um, dunno?" he squeaked. Rufus sometimes found himself asked to respond to his owner's private thoughts, but unfortunately the naked mole rat was not a master of telepathy.

"I mean, pretending to go out with Bonnie to get back at Kim. You think it's a good idea?"

Rufus rolled his eyes and adjusted his tiny crash helmet as he went back to enjoying the ride.

They finally arrived at the Possible home, and Ron knocked on the door. He was cutting it a little close today, but they still had a few minutes to spare before they'd be late to school. There was a long pause after his knock with no answer, and he rang the doorbell nervously. Was he running more late than he thought?

The door opened and revealed the face of Kim's father, James Possible. "Hello, Ronald!"

"Hey Mr. Dr. P. Is Kim ready to go?"

James frowned. "She already left. Josh came over so he could walk to school with her this morning. Did she not tell you?"

Ron felt like he had just gotten smacked with a two by four.

XX

Kim stood next to her open locker and watched Josh walk away, still floored by the kiss he had just planted on her lips. The way his bottom moved when he walked was hypnotic. _Monique would say that boy has a bodacious bottom_, Kim told herself. She dropped a textbook on the ground, which she had been in the process of trying to dislodge from behind her locker terminal when Josh distracted her. As she got back up with the textbook in hand and closed her own locker, she noticed Ron's locker door hanging open down the hall. Obscured by the locker door was a familiar pair of loose pants and the bottom of a red sweatshirt. Kim smiled. She hadn't talked to Ron on Sunday, so she had to tell him everything that had happened since then!

She ran down the hall excitedly. "Hey Ron, you wouldn't believe the day I-"

Kim skidded to a halt as Ron's locker door closed. Ron himself turned around at the sound of her voice and revealed who he had been speaking with.

"Oh, hey there K. I was just having a little chat with Ronnie here!"

"That's nice," Kim said flippantly, not noticing Bonnie's tone. "I need to talk to Ron about my hot weekend date with Josh Mankey now, if you don't mind. Don't you have somewhere to be, Bonnie?"

Bonnie's mouth widened into a wolfish grin as she grabbed Ron's arm with her own and leaned against him. "As a matter of fact, yes. Ron is going to walk me to my next class. What a gentleman!"

Kim's mouth, along with her unfortunate textbook, dropped like a stone.

"That's right KP," nodded Ron. "Me and Bonnie had a hot weekend ourselves, you know. Maybe sometime I can tell _you_ all about it!"

Ron suddenly leaned over to kiss Bonnie on the mouth. Bonnie's arms stiffened and eyes went wide as she wondered what in the world he was doing; this was definitely not something they had planned on. At the same time, she felt a rush from Ron's unexpected boldness. Maybe the dork was finally breaking out from under Kim's wing. She brought her reaction back to normal and returned the kiss after seeing Kim's infuriated expression.

"What is this, Ron? Is this some kind of joke?"

Ron broke the kiss and stared at his best friend. "Me and Bonnie decided to start going out, KP. I guess I just have a sweet tooth for some Bonbon!"

Bonnie ignored the comment and smirked at Kim. "Maybe Ronnie's tired of being your lackey, Kim. He's ready to move up to the big leagues now. Too bad I can't say the same for you!"

Kim fought back the urge to attack Bonnie right there in the hallway; she knew the minute she did, Barkin would appear out of nowhere and slap her with a suspension. Besides, technically Bonnie hadn't done anything wrong, even though the scene in front of her was wrongsick beyond words. Kim did not understand what was going on. Out of the blue, Ron and Bonnie were a couple? Perhaps the brunette had brainwashed her best friend somehow. Unable to form words, the red-headed cheerleader brushed silently past Ron and Bonnie as she left for her next class.

Bonnie watched in satisfaction as her foe left, defeated. This was getting more interesting by the minute.

XX

In Bonnie's imagination, the lunchroom seemed much more crowded than usual. She watched the chatting students apprehensively. This would be the real test. Nobody had really seen her spending much time with Ron until now, although she didn't know if anyone in the hall had seen their kiss, other than Kim. But now, now she would find out if her scheming was going to work out the way she hoped or backfire on her horrifically.

She thrust her tray of unidentifiable lunch food at Ron. "Hold this for me."

"But I already have a lunch tray!"

"Um, watch me care? Hold one in each hand and follow me!"

Bonnie led Ron across the lunch room to the senior table. She was not a senior, but her status at the school was such that she got away with sitting there. Several of her cheerleading teammates were at the table, including her friend Tara, and a couple of well-built jocks were allowed to sit with them for decorative purposes.

Bonnie heard a gasp rise up from the lunch room as her fellow students noticed the strange couple walking towards the senior table, followed by an uneasy silence. Every pair of eyes in the room followed Bonnie and the nervous looking boy trailing behind her with a tray in each hand. One particular pair of green eyes were trying their best to light Bonnie on fire just by the power of their stare. Bonnie smirked as she walked by Kim and Josh, who were sitting at a lunch table with Monique; she could practically taste the anger that her rival was radiating.

The senior table was completely quiet. Its occupants watched in confusion as Bonnie pushed a jock aside to make room for two chairs, and then signaled for Ron to set the trays down. She delicately sat down at the table and brushed her hair back, ignoring the expressions around her. Ron sat down beside her with an uneasy grin on his face. "Hey guys, what's going on!"

"Not much Ron!" Tara replied with a smile.

One of the jocks, appraising the situation, worked up enough courage to speak. "What's going on, Bonnie? What is this dork doing here? Isn't that where Brick usually sits?"

Bonnie glared. "Brick will not be sitting here anymore. We broke up" - at this comment, several girls rolled their eyes - "and I've decided to give Ron Stoppable the incredible privilege of being my new boyfriend."

No one was sure what to say. Tara thought it was one of the more freakish situations she could imagine, and she was bothered by the fact that Bonnie knew she had something of a crush on Kim's goofy friend until quite recently. Still, it could be worse.

"Well, I'm happy that Ron is sitting at our table!" she said in a sunny tone.

The other occupants of the table did not seem to share Tara's opinion. "I don't know about this," said the same jock who had asked about Brick. "If we let that dork sit here, aren't we opening the bloodgates?"

"Floodgates," Ron corrected.

"Whatever, dork. What will stop Ron Reiger from deciding he's senior table material? Then all of a sudden we have two Rons here! How are we going to tell them apart? Maybe I need another helping of tater tots, and I say 'Ron, get me more tater tots', and then they both get me tater tots and I have too many tater tots and then Barkin is all up in my face for wasting tater tots and-"

"Shut up!" Bonnie screeched. The jock froze in terror. Bonnie looked around the table and realized the precarious situation she was in. The sudden change was too abrupt for them; if she wasn't careful, she might end up with a food chain mutiny on her hands.

"Look, I'm going out with Ron because it bothers the bejeesus out of Kim. This is just temporary. Anybody have a problem with it, and I'll make sure you're sitting at the chess team's table. Got it?" Bonnie's sharp fingernails tapped on the table in a catlike manner. Everyone at the table nodded meekly, except Tara.

Ron felt a sudden sense of shame as he noticed Tara looking at him and Bonnie. The blond cheerleader's deep blue eyes seemed to be tinged with disappointment. Ron began to wonder if he was in over his head.


	3. Ship Just Got Real

**Ship Just Got Real**

XX

"Line up, ladies! NOW!"

The Middleton Mad Dog cheerleading squad stumbled over each other as they rushed across the gym floor to get into position. Kim and Bonnie, as usual, elbowed each other to try to get a spot in the center of the line, although their elbowing seemed more vicious than usual. Steve Barkin stood at attention in front of the line of cheerleaders.

"I know that normally you ladies have cheer practice to yourselves, but I needed to give you some very important information – wait, where's Stoppable?"

The gym doors burst open as a gasping figure ran across the court while putting on the Middleton Mad Dog mascot head. "I'm here Mr. B! Don't worry, the show can go on!"

Ron skidded to a halt in front of Mr. Barkin and shook his mascot head wildly. A spray of banana cream foam whipped across the room, hitting Mr. Barkin square in the face. The teacher stood quivering in anger, while behind him Bonnie waved seductively at Ron from the line of cheerleaders.

"STOPPABLE!" Mr. Barkin paused to lick some foam away from his lips. "That _is_ good foam." He decided to fight the overwhelming urge to give Ron detention.

"Now, ladies, listen up! As you all know, _Teen Cheer_ is holding their 'Best Cheerleader in the Midwestern United States Area' contest. Multiple schools in the area will be competing with us, including Upperton High School and several high schools in Go City. Only one cheerleader from all of these schools will be picked as the winner. You've all had a couple weeks now to think about your routines, which I hope you've been practicing, because they've chosen to host the contest right here at Middleton High School, and it's coming up the weekend after next. But that is NOT why I'm here today!

"As Middleton High School's head coach, I am indirectly responsible for the conduct of the cheer squad. _Teen Cheer_ will have a journalist at the contest, and you ladies need to be on your best behavior! The eyes of that portion of the Midwestern United States that happens to read cheerleading magazines will be upon us. That means one wrong move and Middleton's reputation is tarnished. FOREVER. So no fighting. Particularly the two of you!"

Barkin pointed an accusatory finger at Kim and Bonnie. Kim smiled sheepishly, while Bonnie raised her eyebrows in surprise, gesturing to herself as if to ask Barkin to whom he was referring.

"Oh, and you, Stoppable. Please do NOT spray the representative journalist with banana cream! Just don't take the head with you at all to the contest, we don't need a mascot for that. Actually, give that to me now." Barkin grabbed the head and walked to the gym doors. "Alright ladies, that is all! Resume your cheer practice!"

Bonnie walked to the bleachers where Ron was sitting and picked up a pair of Pom-pons she had left lying there. "You're going to help me practice my routine for the magazine contest, aren't you Ronnie?"

"Sure, Bonnie." Ron noticed that Kim was trying to avoid glancing at the pair of them as she began to practice with the other cheerleaders. He felt a twinge of guilt, but it went away when he thought of Josh Mankey. Kim would just have to see what her own medicine tasted like.

XX

It was a gorgeous afternoon in Middleton, and the sun shone down happily on the Middleton Mall as the town's residents did their shopping. The parking lot was filled with shoppers who were enjoying the weather in shorts and light summer clothing. Birds chirped in joyous song as they hopped around the asphalt, waiting to peck at tidbits of food dropped by the passing shoppers.

For one particular group of birds, joy turned to terror as a silver Porsche rocketed into the empty parking space they had been occupying. Feathers scattered through the air as the driver's side door opened and a tanned girl with sunglasses stepped out, brushing back her brown hair theatrically.

"Daddy lets me borrow his car whenever I want," she said to her blonde-haired companion as he stepped out of the passenger side. "It's basically my car, really."

"It's pretty nice, but I like my scooter. You know, sometimes, when it's just me and my machine and the black-"

"Yeah, whatever. Come on, follow me!"

Ron trailed behind Bonnie as she entered the mall and made a beeline for Club Banana. Bonnie had called him after school and told him to be ready for her to pick him up at his house – she didn't want him interacting with her family quite yet. Her particular choice of words was that they were going to be doing a little accessorizing. Ron wasn't sure what that word meant, but the way Bonnie was brandishing several credit cards as she entered the Club Banana outlet made him a bit nervous.

"Alright Ron, here's the deal. If you want to be my fake boyfriend, you need to dress the part. That red sweater-vest thing and black undershirt? _So_ not going to fly! So, we're going to dress you up a little bit and see how much of a miracle worker I really am. Plus, if you're dressed better than Kim, she's going to freak!"

Ron noticed Monique standing at the checkout counter with her arms crossed. He walked up to her as Bonnie cackled and dashed off to a rack of expensive-looking clothing. "Hey Monique, what's up!"

Monique looked incredulously at Bonnie as she sifted through rows of hanging shirts, then at Ron. "So I wasn't just hallucinating at lunch. Boy, what is going on in that head of yours?"

"What are you talking about? I'm just out for a nice afternoon of shopping with my GF!"

"Your GF? Bonnie? You and Kim having some kind of problem, Ron?"

Ron's jaw dropped. Monique's powers of perception were a little unsettling.

"Whaaat? No, not at all, why, what did Kim say?"

"I don't think you wanna know what Kim said." Monique leaned forward after studying Ron's expression for a moment, speaking barely above a whisper as she glanced furtively at Bonnie. "Ron, is that girl holding you hostage or something? Blink twice if you can't tell me with Bonnie around."

Monique was almost cut off by a screech amongst the clothing racks. "_Ron_! I told you not to bring your rat thing along! It's bothering me!"

As Ron dashed in between the racks to get to Bonnie, he saw her holding two pairs of what looked like silk button-down shirts in each hand. Rufus was perched on her shoulder, pointing at one shirt and nodding his head.

"What... this one?" Bonnie held up the shirt in confusion. "You're saying this is better? What about this one?" She held up the other shirt, but Rufus shook his head emphatically.

"What about pants?" Rufus pointed at a pair of dark gray slacks, which Bonnie picked up and held against the shirt they had chosen. Her eyes lit up in amazement.

"Ron, your rat is a fashion genius! Why didn't you tell me!"

"Yeah, the dude's pretty styling for someone who doesn't even wear hair! By the way, it's a mole rat, Bonnie."

She ignored him and thrust the new outfit into his arms. "Go put these on, and come out and twirl for me." Ron slunk away to the changing room. Monique sat with her elbows propped on the counter, unable to comprehend the scene before her.

"What are you staring at?" snapped Bonnie.

Monique shook her head. "Girl, I really don't know."

XX

_Beeeeeeeep!_

Kim groaned at the sound of the alarm clock. She slapped it several times with an outstretched hand until it turned off, and rolled back over in her bed, pulling the covers over her head without even bothering to check the time. It was a school day, but she did not relish the idea of going to school and seeing Ron and Bonnie together again. It was just too strange to deal with. What was more, she and Ron seemed to be avoiding each other now instead of talking. She had expected Ron to explain what was going on, maybe tell her that he really did genuinely like Bonnie – as strange as that would be - and it was not just a ruse of some kind, but her normally gregarious friend had not said anything to her.

"Honey, it's time for school!" Her mother appeared at the entrance to the loft stairs and entered Kim's room, whipping the sheets from her bed. Sunlight poured over Kim's exposed body as Anne opened the window blinds.

"Uuugh, mom!" Kim uncurled from her fetal position.

"Something wrong, honey?"

"No... just not looking forward to school."

"Why not?"

Kim paused. "I don't really wanna talk about it right now."

"If you insist. Josh is already waiting downstairs though, having a conversation with your father. You're going to be late if you don't get dressed quickly!"

Kim's demeanor changed instantly as she rushed out of bed and flung her closet open, picking out an outfit with unnatural speed. Her mother had already gone back down the loft stairs, but Kim almost beat her to the kitchen after throwing on an outfit without much thought and racing down to meet Josh.

"Hey Josh! Hey Dad!" She grabbed Josh with one arm, her backpack with the other, and raced him out the door. He had already been talking to her father, but perhaps the damage was minimal. James and Anne Possible watched their daughter disappear out the door with a shrug and returned to their breakfast.

"Sorry about that, Josh."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"He didn't threaten to launch you into the stratosphere with anything, did he?"

"No..."

Kim was surprised. "Oh. He didn't show you any pictures of me naked as a baby, did he?"

"Don't think so, Kim. It's not like it would be anything I haven't already seen, anyways."

The teen hero sighed in relief as she walked to school with her boyfriend. Perhaps disaster had been narrowly averted, this time. Kim was startled by the sound of her Kimmunicator ringing out from her pocket, which she removed to find Wade appear on the screen with a look of alarm.

"Kim!"

"Sitch me, Wade!"

"I've been tracking Ron's... uh..." Wade spoke more softly as he noticed Josh walking alongside Kim from his view out of the Kimmunicator screen. "... _his tracking chip that we agreed doesn't exist?_ And he's at Bonnie's house right now!"

Kim responded with a furrowed brow. She did not want to know what Ron was doing at Bonnie's house in the morning, but her mood suddenly took a foul turn.

"What do you think, Bonnie's holding him hostage?"

Kim shook her head. "No... it's not that."

"What is it, then?"

"It's a long story Wade. Don't worry about it though, it's no big. I'll talk to you later." She cut off the connection and returned the Kimmunicator to her pocket. She could feel Josh looking at her in confusion, but he did not say anything, probably sensing that Kim and Ron's current relationship was a sore subject. Kim was not looking forward to school.

XX

_Ringityringityring!_

Bonnie groaned at the sound of her alarm clock. She leaned over to slap it, and was about to roll back over in her bed and pull up the covers when she noticed the time on the clock. She had set the alarm late! Bonnie jumped out of bed and began to pick out an outfit from her closet, taking her time and considering color coordination even though it was only adding to her tardiness. She would have liked to have a family member wake her up in time, but she knew she couldn't count on her family to do that. Her parents didn't care enough, and it was just as likely that her sisters had been the ones to deliberately change the time that the alarm went off.

Bonnie finished putting on her clothing and took another look at the closet, making sure it was still neat and well-organized, and then set off downstairs. She was already running fantasy scenarios through her mind of how to torment Kim with Ron's help when she was dragged out of her reverie by a familiar voice coming from downstairs. A leaden feeling took hold of her stomach as she realized who it was.

Bonnie entered the kitchen to find Ron Stoppable sitting at the table and being interrogated by her elder sisters. At least he was wearing one of the nice outfits Bonnie had bought him the other day at the mall, but this could still be a disaster.

"Hey there Bonnie!" her sisters said in unison.

Ron waved at Bonnie with a smile.

"We've just been talking to your new boyfriend here," said Connie. "He came in this morning, wanting to walk to school with you. Isn't that sweet!" Bonnie's sisters laughed condescendingly. "And did you know he has a naked mole rat for a pet?"

Bonnie grabbed her faux-boyfriend and left the house without responding to her sisters. She knew they had probably been acting friendly towards Ron simply in order to glean information from him. Information about Bonnie, about Ron himself, anything that they could use to feel superior or be more vindictive later. Ron may be a loser, sure, but Bonnie didn't think anyone deserved to deal with her sisters.

"Sorry about that, Ron," she said as they walked towards school.

"Hey, it's all good. They were friendly enough. At least they were pretending to be friendly... I can see why they bother you though."

"Why did you come to my house this morning?"

"Ah, I dunno, I guess I'm used to coming over to Kim's house every morning and walking to school with her, but she's been doing that with Josh lately."

Bonnie thought it was strange that Ron would walk to school with a girl like Kim every morning when he had no chance with her. The only guys who had ever given her that much attention were hoping to get somewhere with her, and even then, they rarely bothered to go out of their way to spend time with her. Bonnie looked over Ron, appraising his clothing. She had to give herself a hand; she knew how to pick out a good outfit, although she grudgingly admitted the mole rat may have played a small part.

"You're looking pretty good today, Ronnie. Maybe we can make steam come out of Kim's ears when she sees you!" Bonnie cackled as she imagined Kim's reaction. Being in a relationship with Ron was almost proving to be fun!

XX

The school librarian, Mrs. Hatchett, narrowed her eyes at the pair of teenagers sitting next at a table next to the window. They were being fairly quiet and it appeared as if they were working on math problems, but Mrs. Hatchett smelled trouble. She picked up on a lot of things as head librarian, heard a lot of gossip and whispers from students who thought the library was a private place. One thing she knew for sure was that Ron Stoppable and Bonnie Rockwaller should not be sitting at the same table. Then again, perhaps they were forced to work on the same project...

"Then you just subtract 5 from x. Just follow the order of operations."

Bonnie pointed to an open textbook while Ron scribbled furiously on a piece of notebook paper. People often underestimated Bonnie; she could be quite intelligent when she put her mind to it, and math was one of her better subjects. Of course, this didn't translate into good grades when Bonnie saw homework and class attendance as options she could occasionally pursue when she felt like it. However, she and Ron had an upcoming math test, and Ron had whined and wheedled until she agreed to study with him. Bonnie assumed his normal study partner was preoccupied with a certain Josh Mankey.

"Well, think of the devil," she remarked as Kim Possible walked up to their table with Josh Mankey in tow.

"What?"

"Nothing. How's it going, K?"

Kim was about to respond when she caught sight of Ron's clothing. The familiar red sweater and tan pants were gone, replaced by a silk shirt and slacks. Even his hair looked different; perhaps he was going back to Le Goop. Bonnie had gotten to him, for sure.

"I see you're admiring Ron's new style. You sure didn't take care of him when he was under your shoe." Bonnie looked over Kim's questionable attire. "Oh my God, Kim, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? I think Ron is dressed better than you are! Hahaha!"

Kim felt herself blush furiously; Bonnie was right. Kim's hastily assembled outfit was no match for Ron's new look. She had to admit he was more stylish than usual, even if perhaps it was over the top. "He looks like he's late for a magic show, Bonnie."

Kim had only been talking to them for a moment, but she was already exhausted by the conversation. Seeing Ron with Bonnie was upsetting to her; it was like he had betrayed her. She grabbed Josh, who had been watching the spat with a bemused look, and kissed him on the mouth. Ron looked deflated as they began to leave the library.

"Hey Kim, I hope you've been practicing how to lose gracefully, so you'll be ready for the cheer competition!"

Kim ignored the comment as she left with her boyfriend. Bonnie leaned over conspiratorially to her own supposed boyfriend and spoke in a whisper, having noticed that her spat with Kim had attracted Mrs. Hatchett's attention. "Hey Ronnie... I have a little request for you." She scooted over closer, trailed her fingers over Ron's hand suggestively.

"What is it, Bonnie?"

"Do you by any chance know anything about Kim's cheer routine for the contest?"

"Sure do!" Ron said, missing the obvious intention of Bonnie's question. "She always shares that kind of thing with me. She's already got it all planned out, actually."

"Do you think there's any chance you could get a hold of those plans?"

"Well, I haven't really been talking to her much lately. I mean, you just saw how she acted around me." He watched Bonnie apprehensively. The whole situation was starting to feel wrong to him.

"Yeah, but all you need to do is stop by her house, right? You can just tell her you're sorry and hang out with her a bit. If I know everything she's going to do for the contest and I can use that to beat her, she'll be crushed! That'll show her for dating Josh and ignoring you, right Ronnie?"

Ron thought for a moment, but he knew his answer already. He shook his head. "Bonnie, that's just too wrong. I'd feel like a total chump if I did that to her." He noticed the scheming glint in Bonnie's eyes fade into disappointment. "I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty weird about this whole deal we've got going on. Maybe we should break this off."

Bonnie was taken aback. She knew that trying to convince Ron to steal Kim's cheer plans was a bit of a gamble, but she had not expected it to scare him to the point that he was about to back out of their arrangement entirely. "Ron, you can't break it off now. I'm not done with you, and I'm not done playing with Kim yet. If you stop seeing me now and break up with her, I can make your social life miserable. I have my ways, loser."

Ron felt a flash of annoyance. He did not often get angry, but Bonnie had crossed the line. "Are you threatening me? I got news for you Bonnie, I'm already at the bottom of your precious food chain. What are you gonna do to me to make it any worse? I've had enough." He closed his math textbook and put his notebooks and paper into his backpack as he got up to leave.

Bonnie gaped at his reaction. None of this was going the way she had planned! She had threatened previous boyfriends with social ostracism before, and it had worked perfectly. Nobody could keep others in line like Bonnie Rockwaller. She began to feel a sense of panic as Ron walked away from the table. What was she panicking for? The loss of the new power she had over Kim? Somehow it seemed like it was something else. She thought about going back to the way things had been with Ron before - strangers but for the occasional taunt or put-down - and she had to admit that the thought bothered her. Perhaps it was just that she liked Ron's company as a distraction from her family. That must be it, she thought.

"Ron, wait," she hissed before Ron could leave the room. "Wait, come back!"

"Ssssh!" Mrs. Hatchett held a wizened finger to her mouth.

Ron looked back at Bonnie, hesitating for a moment, but returned to the table as she beckoned him with manicured fingernails. "What is it, Bonnie?"

Bonnie wasn't sure what to say, but she said it anyway. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? We don't have to do anything nasty to Kim if you don't want to."

"This is still weird, Bonnie. It's not like you want to go out with me anyway."

"Well... look, it's not like I'm really interested in you or anything Ron, but I don't mind hanging out with you. And it's more fun to be around you than my family, if you hadn't guessed that already. So just sit down and let's keep studying for this math test."

Ron was about to try to break away again when he noticed Bonnie's expression. Oh, no. She was pulling out the big guns. It was the puppy dog pout.

"Alright, fine Bonnie." He put the backpack down and got out the math textbook and notebook paper again. Ron wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, but it seemed like Bonnie had asked him not to break off their relationship. Interpreting that was harder than trying to make sense of problem 37 in his textbook. What did it mean? Did it mean they were in an actual relationship?

Mrs. Hatchett watched, flabbergasted, as the two mismatched teens began studying again. She had overheard enough of the conversation between them and Kim Possible - and then between the Bonnie and Ron when he had almost left - to be completely confused. Bonnie Rockwaller had just told Ron she didn't mind hanging out with him. What did it mean? Did it mean they were in an actual relationship?


	4. The Lair of the Tan Bonnie

**The Lair of the Tan Bonnie**

XX

The bright, cheery Middleton weather stood in stark contrast to Kim's sour mood. She was trying to have a good time and be pleasant on her date – Josh had invited her to the Middleton Zoo – but there were many things weighing on her mind. She trailed behind as Josh followed the concrete path that twisted through the zoo, past iron cages and grassy pits that held back bored looking creatures. Josh stopped now and then to peer through a cage at an animal that caught his interest or to read an information placard, but Kim was not really paying attention to her surroundings.

She could try to avoid the problem all she wanted, but she knew exactly what was bothering her. Why was Ron dating Bonnie? The first time Kim saw them together at the hall lockers, her stomach had dropped like an anchor. She wanted to be supportive of Ron, but of all the girls he could have gone out with, why Bonnie? Had they even had a real conversation before? Walking away without saying anything was probably not the best move she could have made, because in the days since then, she and Ron had barely spoken a word to each other. She had a suspicion that Ron was angry at her for some reason, but why? Was his new relationship with Bonnie just a way to bother her? She knew Ron could be childish sometimes, but this seemed particularly low.

"Hey Kim! Check it out, monkeys!"

Josh had stopped in front of a tall enclosure the contained a small drinking pool and several trees, thick with vines and branches. Several small monkeys swung from the branches and played around the edges of the pool. Kim could see more of them farther back in the branches, sitting still or preening themselves for insects.

"Are you a fan of monkeys, Josh?"

"Yeah, they're my favorite animal!"

Kim smiled. She could see why Ron didn't seem to like Josh very much. Now that she thought of Ron's attitude towards him, however, Kim realized something else that was bothering her. How did she feel about Josh?

Their first few dates had been amazing. Josh seemed friendly, charming, and gorgeous to boot; Kim spent half her time just staring at him. But as she continued to hang out with him, her euphoric feelings seemed to be wearing off. Was it just a matter of getting used to him? Kim wasn't so sure. Josh was nice, but sometimes he could be a little self-absorbed. She also had to admit that on their last few dates, they seemed to be running out of things to talk about.

The cage echoed with screeches as the monkeys inside leaped about excitedly. Two of the monkeys in particular seemed to be very rambunctious; the larger of the pair was chasing around the smaller one, which ran around in circles trying to evade its pursuer. The small monkey stopped for a moment and walked up to the front of the cage, curling its tiny fingers around the black bars. Kim could swear it was staring directly at her.

_Kim_, a voice echoed in her head. _Why are you ignoring me?_

The larger of the two monkeys ran up behind its smaller victim and screeched, scaring it off into the undergrowth of the enclosure. This time, the large monkey turned to gaze through the cage bars at her.

_What's wrong, Kim? Don't like monkeys?_

"Kim?"

Kim was startled out of her daze by the sound of Josh's voice. "Sorry, what?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just looking at the Mankeys."

"What?"

"Monkeys. Looking at the monkeys."

Josh gave her a strange look and shrugged, continuing down the zoo path to look at more animals. As Kim followed behind him, she shook her head in attempt to clear it out. Maybe she was letting Ron get to her.

XX

Ron looked around in awe at the gaming room that he had just entered. He had only been in Bonnie's house once previously, when he was meeting her to walk to school, and hadn't really gotten the chance to see anything before her sisters had started grilling him. Bonnie's house wasn't that much larger than his own from the outside, although the lawn was more well-tended, but the way it was furnished inside suggested that Bonnie's family had money to spend. Or, Ron thought, perhaps they were just more willing to go into debt. The gaming room was decorated with several expensive looking paintings and various pieces of mahogany furniture which held glass figurines and fine china. In one corner of the room stood several padded chairs and a coffee table, on which an ornate chess set was sitting. A pool table was set up to one side of the room, although there was a large empty space in the middle of the room.

"That's where I practice my cheer routines," explained Bonnie as she entered the room and motioned to the empty space. This was the first time she had invited Ron into her house, although they had eaten dinner at restaurants above his price range and hung out at his own house several times in the past week. Ron was no longer sure what was going on with Bonnie. At first, Bonnie had treated him like dirt. She had been enthusiastic about how to get under Kim's skin, and Ron had begun to feel like initiating things with her had been a mistake. He was simply being used as a tool. Now, though, it was almost as if she was treating him as a human being. As a matter of fact, Ron thought back to their last 'date' and realized that not only did Bonnie invite him out to eat, but she didn't talk about how to bug Kim even once.

On the one hand, Ron was relieved by the changing tone of his relationship with Bonnie. He was feeling increasingly sorry about the fact that he and Kim hadn't been on speaking terms lately, and when Bonnie convinced him not to end things between them, he was worried that he might be getting himself into a situation that could seriously hurt Kim or himself. Fortunately, things did not seem to be going in that direction. Ron was surprised to feel like he was starting to actually enjoy being around Bonnie as well.

"Hey kids! I brought you two some cookies and milk!" Bonnie's mother walked into the room holding a tray with cookies and a couple of full glasses. "You must be Ron."

"Yeah, nice to meet you Mrs. Rockwaller."

"Please, call me Margaret. You must be quite a nice young man. Bonnie hasn't talked about you at all!"

"Sorry?"

"Well, when she was dating Brick, she was such a negative Nancy! Every other day Bonnie would be saying 'Guess what the oaf did today'. I tell you, she's quite the little hellion!"

Bonnie leaned against the pool table petulantly. "Mom, do you mind?"

"Oh, right honey, I'll give you two some privacy."

Bonnie's mother ambled out of the room, empty tray in hand, as Ron wolfed down a cookie after dunking it in his glass of milk. He watched Bonnie with more than a little interest as she began limbering up and stretching her legs against the side of the pool table. "What's up B?"

"Just stretching a bit before I start practicing the cheer routine."

"Sweet. Your mom seemed pretty nice."

Bonnie's face darkened temporarily. "She's nice to company, sure. That doesn't mean she's nice." Bonnie imagined what her mother might be telling her later that night about Ron, and Bonnie's choice to associate with him. She brushed the thoughts aside and focused on her stretches.

"You're _sure_ you don't want to steal Kim's routine for me, Ron?"

Ron gulped. "Sorry, it just doesn't seem right. I could help you out with your own routine though! You might still be competing against Kim, but I think that's a little less backstabbyish at least."

Bonnie laughed. "Um, and what would you know about cheering?"

"I _am_ the Middleton Mad Dog, Bonnie. And my best friend is a cheerleader. I've picked up a few skills in my time, let me tell you!"

Bonnie considered Ron's comment and realized he might have a point. "Fair enough. Tell me what you think then."

She picked up a remote, switching the room's stereo to an upbeat song, and began to move her arms and legs in graceful unison. The song's insistent beat provided her with focus as she twisted her body this way and that, performing several acrobatic flips in the space that the large room afforded her. Bonnie's blood rushed through her body, like it was on fire, like it was leading her into each new move. She loved cheerleading and dancing. They were in her blood, and while she was in the moment, they could make her forget about anything else in her life.

Ron felt his eyes glued to her movements, to her blur of tanned skin. _Booyah_, he thought.

Bonnie landed powerfully after a final back flip and raised her arms in the air, almost shaking with excitement as a grin traced itself across her face. She was quite happy with her routine – the _Teen Cheer_ contest focused on individual cheerleaders performing their own invented routine instead of a group routine, so there was more dancing and flexibility involved in how the performance was created. Bonnie had an edge, since her cheerleading experience was augmented by dancing and ballet skills. Judging by Ron's expression, she knew the routine had been impressive.

"What do you think?" she asked him.

"That was badical, Bonnie! I loved the Double Nine you had in the middle there. Want me to show you something though?"

Bonnie nodded. As Ron walked behind her and brushed her leg with his hand, she tensed in surprise. "I've noticed that Kim sometimes starts a jump with her leg like this, see..."

At first, Bonnie was somewhat annoyed to be hearing about Kim's cheerleading prowess, but she began to feel an unexpected thrill in response to Ron touching her body. Brick had never shown any interest in her cheerleading. She let Ron gently move her limbs in demonstration of a move. Her body was loose and relaxed, but her mind was clouded; she was unsure of herself, of her feelings. Bonnie had known Ron for a long time, and she knew Ron was a loser. A loser who had, until recently, spent all his time with her arch rival. And yet, Bonnie felt like maybe she had never really known him at all.

XX

"Come here and check this one out, Kim!"

Kim looked at the portrait to which Josh was pointing. She noticed that the signature at the bottom of the painting read 'Josh Mankey'. She had to admit, Josh had talent. The painting was an abstract representation of a male face, done in oils and using a color palette that gave the portrait a slightly unsettling aura. She could guess who the figure was supposed to represent by the light blond coloring used on the spiky hair.

"A self portrait?"

"Yep. It's supposed to represent my inner conflicted nature. Like how I don't know who I am, and how it's hard to fit in when you're an independent person in a conformist society, you know?"

Kim gave a vague nod, but did not respond. She looked at the time on her watch; it was starting to get late. She and Josh had been at the art gallery for a couple of hours, and while at first it was interesting to hear Josh explaining artistic techniques or mentioning someone he knew who had done a particular painting, she was getting a little impatient. Not to mention Kim had other things to do.

"Hey Josh, it's getting a bit late and I want to practice my routine tonight for that _Teen Cheer_ contest. I could really use some constructive criticism though... would you mind coming home with me and watching my routine? I'm sure my dad would be okay with it if he knew you were there to help me practice."

"Ah, I dunno Kim. I think I'll just go home for tonight, I don't really feel like doing anything else. Have fun with that though!"

They left the art gallery building and gathered their jackets closer to themselves; the night air was a little chillier than usual. Kim was slightly disappointed as she parted ways with Josh after giving him a goodnight kiss. Normally she would have asked Ron to help her out with her routine, but things were still awkward between them. _This sitch is getting a little old_, she told herself. As she began to walk home alone, she stopped in her tracks as a question floated into her mind: Which sitch did she mean, exactly?

XX

"That'll be four Naco combos, Ned! And make it snappy, I got a lady waiting on me."

Bonnie watched from her Bueno Nacho booth as Ron Stoppable ordered their dinner. She had been to Bueno Nacho before, but she couldn't say she was a fan – usually other members of her cheer squad dragged her along, Tara in particular, and she ended up just ordering a salad. Tonight, however, Ron had convinced her that not only was Bueno Nacho the cool place to be, but that she hadn't lived until she had tried a Naco.

"Dinner has arrived, milady!"

Ron set the tray down on the table. The tray was almost overflowing with Nacos, sides, and drinks. Bonnie was about to ask why in the world he had ordered so much food when she got her answer in the form of Rufus leaping out of Ron's pocket and wolfing down one of the combos like it was his sworn enemy. Ron took two of the remaining combos for himself, giving it a fifty-fifty chance that Rufus would eat one of them, and handed the remaining combo to Bonnie.

"Alright Bonnie, testing time! Try it out and tell me what you think."

Bonnie hesitated for a moment and looked around the crowded Bueno Nacho. Many of their fellow students were also having a night out, some of whom Bonnie knew. She was surprised to realize that she didn't particularly care if people saw her and Ron interacting as if it was a real date. The whole school had seen them together by now anyways. Perhaps she was confident that her place on the food chain would not be disturbed. Perhaps she just enjoyed being around Ron more than she cared about the food chain. She took a small bite out of the Naco, chewing it daintily with her face scrunched up in consideration.

"I gotta admit, this is pretty good Ronnie!"

"Booyah! I told you it was awesome. I always thought I should have made millions off that thing, but it hasn't happened yet. Stupid Bueno Nacho doesn't pay royalties, I guess."

"That's too bad." Bonnie's eyes twinkled at the thought of Ron as a millionaire. Oh, the things he could buy her... she was pulled from her daydreams by the sight of Tara walking past them with a Naco combo in her tray. Bonnie had apparently not noticed her come in and order. "Hey Tara! Why don't you sit down with us?"

Tara glanced over at Ron and Bonnie. "Oh, hey guys. No thanks." She left for another booth without saying another word.

"What was up with that?" asked Ron. He wasn't sure how close Bonnie and Tara were, but he knew they hung out sometimes and were at least on speaking terms.

"I don't know. She hasn't been happy with me lately, I guess. Can we talk about something else?" Bonnie was bothered by Tara's reaction. She remembered the first time she and Ron had appeared in school together.. Tara seemed angry at them after that – she couldn't be sure, but she had a vague feeling that Tara was staring daggers at her the entire lunch period – and they had not spoken much in the days afterwards.

"Sure," said Ron. "What do you want to talk about?"

Bonnie smirked. "Let's see... why don't you tell me why Kim and Josh Mankey being an item bothers you so much?"

"I already told you, I just feel like she takes me for granted. Ron Stoppable has other things to do than listen to how great Josh Mankey is!" Ron was no longer sure if that was really the reason, but it was the easiest thing to say. "By the way, have you ever noticed the disturbing similarity between Mankey and Monkey?"

Bonnie shook her head. "No Ron. Never noticed."

"Yeah well, it's true. One letter, Bonnie!"

Bonnie rolled her eyes. Sometimes Ron could go off on tangents during which Bonnie could barely follow his train of thought. It was almost the complete opposite of a lot of the guys she hung around; most of their trains were still idling at the station.

"So tell me Ron, what do you look for in a girl?"

Ron pondered the question with an air of great seriousness. "Good looking. Wait, that's shallow. I didn't say that, I don't care about looks at all. Let's see, she's gotta understand that I have to stay true to my essential Ron-ness... no dissing Bueno Nacho..." Ron pursed his lips in concentration. "Confident. Independent."

Bonnie considered his response. She wasn't sure why she had even asked the question. Partly, she was wondering why he and Kim had been best friends for so long without taking it to the next level, but she had the feeling that wasn't really why she was interested.

"What about you, Bonbon?"

"What about me?"

"What do you look for in a guy?"

"Oh, that's easy. Good looks, lots of money, high status, knows his place. Maybe a dad that owns a private island, but I'm not too picky."

"Well, Brick was some of those things. How come you broke up with him? Not enough Claude?"

Bonnie wasn't sure what to say; she had not broken up with Brick because of money. When she thought about it, she broke up with him for reasons that were not related to her list of qualifications in a boyfriend. She just didn't enjoy his company. She was actually having a lot more fun hanging out with Ron, and yet Ron met none of her qualifications. Not that he was a boyfriend or anything. Or was he? Bonnie's head began to hurt.

Ron noticed her pained expression and changed the subject. "By the way, did you see that latest _Agony County_ episode?"

Her mood lightened instantly. "Um, _yes_? Can you _believe_ what that horrible monster Danny did to Charity?"

Bonnie was amused by the fact that Ron watched Agony County. She did not know any other boys who watched it – certainly not any of the jocks with which she regularly hung out, and none of her previous boyfriends that she knew of – but she thought it was kind of cute. As a matter of fact, as she thought about it, she decided there was something refreshing about the way Ron could enjoy _Agony County_ and _Bricks of Fury _without worrying about what others thought. He just liked what he liked. Bonnie thought there was something liberating about it, something free. Something she wanted more of in her own life.

The other diners at Bueno Nacho looked up from their Mexican meals at the sound of the two occupants of a nearby booth simultaneously squealing. Those in the know recognized them as Ron Stoppable and Bonnie Rockwaller – a bizarre combination, but then the social scene at Middleton had been a little strange lately.

XX

Drakken was getting worried.

It had been days since he had last heard from his beautiful black-haired employee. Shego had gone dutifully to the Amazon in order to find pollen from the Aurora Orchid and take care of his disappearing problem, but Shego herself had pulled a disappearing act. Drakken could not contact her no matter how much he tried, and a couple of days ago the GPS signal on her jet had disappeared, its last location being somewhere in the Amazon. Drakken couldn't begin to guess what had happened. A crash landing perhaps, or some kind of signal interference. Or - he shuddered at the thought - Shego had just decided that saving her boss wasn't worth the effort, and was currently lounging at some Brazilian beach bustling with buff boys.

Drakken fumbled angrily with a jar of mayonnaise that refused to open. He had been trying to make a sandwich for the last hour, but as it turned out, having invisible hands made everything a hassle. Drakken had almost stabbed himself with a kitchen knife twice, and now he was attempting to gauge the rough location of his fingers by feeling along the edges of the mayonnaise jar's lid. Something about the sight of his invisible hand grasping at the lid disconcerted him, so it was actually easier to get a grip on it if he looked away.

He opened the lid but managed to drop the jar, spraying mayonnaise out over the floor in a disgusting white pattern. Drakken was glad that there were no henchmen nearby. On the one hand, no one could help him make his dinner, but on the other hand they were dangerous potential sources of embarrassment. The other morning, one of his top henchmen, Bob, had walked into Drakken's room with a status report and caught his boss putting on his Snowman Hank boxer shorts. Bob had apologized and ducked out of the room quickly, but not in time to prevent Drakken's embarrassment from causing his feet to disappear in a swirling haze of nothingness. Two pairs of extremities, gone. Drakken supposed it could be worse. At least not _all_ of his extremities had disappeared. Bob hadn't even knocked; what was he paying these henchmen for? Drakken had sent them all on an extended vacation until further notice, just to be safe.

Drakken finally managed to make his sandwich, but it tasted like ash in his mouth when he took a first bite. He was no longer sure if he had faith in Shego. Was it possible she could have ditched him? He could have sent some of his henchmen to the Amazon as a backup policy to look for the Orchid, but he had no confidence in their ability to even make it to Brazil without getting lost or sidetracked. If he was going to be cured, it was Shego or bust.


	5. Pass the Salt?

**Pass the Salt?**

XX

Ron Stoppable opened the door to his house and flung his backpack lazily on a chair next to the kitchen table. He walked into the living room and slumped down on the couch, flipping television channels until he found a wrestling show that caught his limited attention. Today had been a bad day. He had scored a decent grade on his math test thanks to Bonnie's study help, but that was outweighed by the fact that once again, he hadn't uttered a single word to Kim all day. His fiery-haired friend had passed by in the hallway several times between classes without so much as throwing a glance his way, although she did not seem particularly angry. How had they gotten to the point where they couldn't even say hello to each other?

Ron should have at least been cheered up a little by the fact that Bonnie was being so nice to him, almost freakishly so, but something about her behavior nagged at him. It taunted him, watered a seed of guilt that had been planted in him ever since Tara had given him that disapproving look at the lunch table. He did not understand how he could enjoy being around Bonnie more and more, while this guilty feeling grew inside him at the same time. Ron shook his head. Kim giving him the cold shoulder and Bonnie being friendly; perhaps the two had switched bodies, Ron wondered. It would explain a lot.

"Hello, Ronald! How's it going?"

Ron's father, Dean Stoppable, entered the room and stood beside the couch, noticing Ron's sour attitude with a look of concern.

"Not bad, dad."

"Is there something wrong?"

"Naw, just a bad day at school, that's all."

"Are you and Kim still ignoring each other, Ronald? You know you have to initiate things if you want to get back to normal with her."

Dean had seen and heard enough over the last couple of weeks to know that Ron's new girlfriend, Bonnie, had driven some kind of wedge between Ron and Kim's friendship. Dean did not want to interfere in his son's life or tell him what to do – he had a laissez-faire attitude towards parenting – but he couldn't help but be a little concerned at the situation. Bonnie seemed friendly enough around him, but there was something about her demeanor that rubbed Dean the wrong way, as if it wasn't genuine.

Dean also knew how much Kim meant to Ron and how much their friendship had motivated his son over the years and kept him from building a shell around himself. He knew that his son was an unusual boy. A fairly geeky boy, to be honest. Dean thought of his son as an apple that did not fall far from the tree; he knew from his own childhood experience that such boys could easily retreat into their own world to avoid dealing with other people. Having a best friend like Kim had done a lot to counteract that. Dean had to admit that, sooner or later, he hoped Kim and Ron might become something more than friends.

Dean sighed. "Your girlfriend called you a few minutes ago, by the way."

Ronald looked up from the television. "Girlfriend?"

"Yes, Bonnie."

"Oh. Alright, thanks dad."

Ron got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen, picking up the telephone and dialing Bonnie's number. He only had to wait a single ring before the phone was picked up on the other end.

"Hello, Ron?"

"Hey Bonnie. You called me?"

"You need to come over to my house _right now_, it's an emergency!"

XX

Ron was speechless.

The kitchen counter in front of him looked like a war zone. Forks, knives, and other random utensils added an occasional metal glint to a blighted landscape of lettuce, tomatoes, meat, and other unidentifiable foods. A pair of baking gloves poked out from the mess like the hands of a soldier buried in rubble. Wisps of acrid smoke rose up from whatever had been cooking in the oven. From the looks of this war zone, biological weapons had been in heavy use.

"Has Kim been over here?"

"What?"

"Er, nothing. This is the emergency you called me here for?"

Bonnie nodded, her frizzled hair giving the gesture a certain comical look. "I was trying to cook. You said you were a good cook, right?"

"Yeah, the Ron man is pretty good at culinary creations, you could say that."

"Well, okay, here's the deal," said Bonnie as the gathered her breath, "My mom and my sisters are out right now preparing for Lonnie's wedding, and her fiancée is coming over to have dinner tonight with my family because my father hasn't met him yet since he's always out on business, and I'm just so sick and tired of hearing about the wedding over and over and why can't I stick with a boyfriend for more than five minutes and so I offered to cook the meal tonight just because I knew they wouldn't think I could do it and I wanted to prove them wrong for once but then I remembered that I can't cook and it's only a few hours before they get-"

"Whoa, whoa!" Ron held his hands up. "Okay, slow down! Don't worry Bonnie, this is no big. So we just cook your family dinner."

"Um, if it's okay, could you stay and eat with us too?"

"Sure, no prob!"

Bonnie smiled in relief. Not only was she going to get credit for a great dinner, but bringing a boyfriend with her would stop Lonnie from ragging on her about why she was single again. Ron was a lifesaver.

"Of course, you're gonna be helping me make all the food."

"_What_?"

"Hey, you're the one who offered to make dinner for your family. You don't wanna lie, do you?"

"Um, Ron, I don't know if you've been hanging out with me lately, but I'd be okay with that."

"Well, I'm not. So get over here!"

Bonnie walked over to the counter and watched as Ron began to slice some tomatoes. "See," he said, "You want to be gentle and use the serrated blade for tomatoes. And use the sharp part of the blade. Don't just crush the tomato with the flat of the blade, which is what it looks like you've been doing."

Bonnie smirked. "Getting a little cheeky, are we Ronnie?"

"At least I don't have food on myself."

Bonnie looked down at her cooking apron. "What? I don't have any-" she squealed as a tomato slice flew through the air and bounced off her cheek. "_Ron Stoppable_!"

Ron tried and failed to duck a stream of Italian dressing shooting out of a plastic bottle that Bonnie squeezed in her hands. They laughed uproariously, trying to shield themselves with their arms while simultaneously sending the remains of Bonnie's cooking sailing through the air at each other. Dinner preparations were clearly off to a messy start.

XX

Tires squealed and rubber burned as a black luxury sedan pulled erratically into the driveway of the Rockwaller residence. A car door was flung open as Lonnie Rockwaller stepped out with a twirl of her luxurious blond hair. Her mother stepped out from the passenger's side. Lonnie's fiancée, Chad, came out of the back seat of the car along with her sister. Lonnie peered at the kitchen window of her house but could not see anything through the closed blinds.

"Ugh, this is going to be a disaster. Why did you agree to let Bonnie cook dinner, mother?"

"She wanted to, honey. Besides, that gave me the day to come along with the two of you and help plan your wedding. I don't know if you realize this, dear, but your plans are getting to be quite the hassle!"

Lonnie rolled her eyes. "It's my special day! Do you expect me dress in a garbage bag and have my wedding in a J.P. Bearymore's party room?"

"Don't you think you're exaggerating a little, honey?"

"No, mother. That is _literally_ what you said to me."

Their spat was interrupted by the sound of an engine gunning. A silver Porsche raced towards their house from down the street and pulled into the driveway beside them. Bonnie's father, John Rockwaller, stepped out with a briefcase and greeted his family.

"Hello everyone. I'm not late, am I?" He noticed his daughter's fiancée standing awkwardly to one side. "Ah, you must be Chad Post. It's nice to finally meet you. I would have done it far earlier, but you know how the life of a businessman can be."

Chad shook John Rockwaller's hand with a vice-like grip. John was impressed by the quality of the handshake. The young man made a striking first impression; he was dressed sharply in a suit and tie, and even his shoes were polished. He stood almost a head taller than anyone else in the driveway. His body was rippling with so many muscles that his suit must have been feeling very uncomfortable trying to hold itself together.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Rockwaller, sir."

John locked his car doors and began walking towards the front porch. "So, I hear that Bonnie is cooking us a meal tonight. Not to mention she's got a new boyfriend along with her?"

"Yeah, he's a total loser," Connie said. "We've only seen him a couple of times, but if you thought Brick was bad, wait until you see this."

"Now, Connie, let's not jump to conclusions," admonished her father. "Have you met him, Margaret?"

Mrs. Rockwaller nodded. "He seemed like a nice boy, but he really didn't look like Bonnie's type, I must admit. And he rode in on a scooter. There it is, right over there."

John raised an eyebrow at the dumpy looking blue vehicle that was half parked, half leaning against the wall of their house next to the porch.

As the Rockwaller family entered their home, an amazing smell wafted from the kitchen to their noses. Connie and Lonnie both stopped in their tracks for a moment, jaws dropped, but quickly regained their composure and wrinkled their noses in mock disgust. John Rockwaller turned from the house's foyer into the living room and saw that the table was covered in a white silk tablecloth, silverware, and plates. The overhead lights were dimmed, most of the ambiance coming from a few lit candles resting on the table itself and on cabinets along the walls of the room. Standing in front of the table to greet them was his daughter Bonnie, and a young man with wild sandy hair and a horrible looking red shirt.

"You must be Bonnie's new boyfriend."

"Yes sir, hey there! The name's Ron. Ron Stoppable!" Ron shook James' hand in a way that somehow managed to be limp and overenthusiastic at the same time.

"Is dinner ready now?"

"Yes, daddy. Everyone can sit down now!" Bonnie pulled a chair out for her father and then rushed into the kitchen with Ron to take the courses they had prepared into the living room. As the Rockwaller family and Chad sat down in silence, Ron and Bonnie placed serving plates with silver covers in the center of the table.

Bonnie lifted the first of the covers. "Roasted pork tenderloin in truffle sauce with fennel, potato, and artichoke side..."

Her family gaped as she revealed the remaining plates. After taking their portion, they ate in silence for several moments, chewing thoughtfully. Bonnie noticed that her father was paying more attention to Ron's clothing than to the food; she looked at Ron's outfit and cursed silently. Ron had come over on such short notice, and they had been so busy preparing dinner, that she had forgotten to change him into something presentable.

Connie and Lonnie looked at their parents, as if trying to judge their reaction to the food. Finally, they both spoke up. "Wow, this is horrible!"

"Yeah, Bonnie, are you trying to poison us?"

Lonnie stared at her fiancée expectantly, waiting for him to offer a similar reaction. He continued to chew on a mouthful of food, oblivious to Lonnie's expression, until he finished with a loud belch. "Uh, I think you guys are nuts! This food rocks."

Ron pumped his fist in the air. "Can I get a booyah!" He slowly let his arm drop back down as the other diners stared at him in confusion.

John Rockwaller wiped his mouth with a napkin and nodded in agreement with Chad. "I have to say, Bonnie, this is one of the best meals I've ever eaten. You made this all yourself?"

"Yep, it was all her," interjected Ron.

Connie and Lonnie looked like they had been slapped in the face, while Bonnie was positively beaming. John Rockwaller turned to Lonnie's fiancée, who continued to wolf down food. "So, Chad, I hear that you played as quarterback on your football team, back in high school?"

"That's right, sir."

"What was your touchdown record?"

"126, sir."

"Impressive. I don't think Brick Flagg is going to be able to beat that record, is he?" Bonnie did not respond to the comment as her smile slipped away behind a stony expression.

"And what are you up to nowadays, Chad?"

Lonnie spoke instead. "He's a junior partner in a big law firm, daddy."

"Oh, very interesting! That must net you a big paycheck. What kind of work are you involved in, Chad? Civil or criminal cases?"

Chad thought for a moment. "Well, uh, sir, my dad kind of handles details like that."

"So, what about you Ronald?" John turned to his youngest daughter's new boyfriend. "Any plans on what you'll be studying in college?"

Ron was caught off guard by the question. "Uh, college? Well, right now I'm just trying to keep my grades up high enough that I can get to that point."

John Rockwaller processed Ron's comment for a moment. "What kinds of things are you interested in, then? What kind of career do you want to work towards in your future?"

"It'd be badical if I could work at Bueno Nacho. I worked there for like a week, but then I got fired for leaving in the middle of the work day. But this guy Ned works there, so I got a contact in the system that I can-"

"Ron travels around the world quite a bit, daddy," Bonnie interrupted in an attempt to save a deteriorating situation. "Just recently he was in the Amazon, trying to find something for his friend."

Chad's face brightened. "Hey, I've been to that website too, dude!"

_Good God almighty_, Bonnie thought to herself. _He might be even dumber than Brick_.

John Rockwaller cleared his throat as he looked at his youngest daughter and her boyfriend sitting together. He wanted to be understanding, but he did not understand what he was looking at. The scooter, the cheap looking outfit, the awkward behavior. "How did the two of you get together?" he asked.

Both Bonnie and Ron were silent. They were caught too unawares to make something up, but they did not know how to explain the real beginnings of their relationship.

"I have to say, Bonnie, I still don't really understand why you broke up with Brick. He was a very nice young man, and I can tell you he was going places. No offense intended, Ron."

Ron was too flabbergasted at the sudden shift in conversation to even be offended. The table was cloaked in a sudden silence as everyone waited for a response from Bonnie. The elder Rockwaller sisters looked like they were barely able to restrain themselves from laughing. Margaret Rockwaller seemed to be timid and withdrawn, as if she was simply waiting for the conversation to end. Bonnie did nothing except sit in silence.

"You have to think about your future, Bonnie," her father added after he saw that no response was coming. "Look at Lonnie here. Chad is going to be able to provide for her when they get married!"

"With the way she switches boyfriends, I don't think Bonnie has to worry about ever getting a husband," Lonnie quipped.

Everyone at the table jumped in surprise as Ron slammed his drinking glass own on the table. "I think you should apologize to Bonnie," he said in a quiet voice.

Lonnie was taken aback for a moment, but quickly regained her composure. "You don't tell me what I can say to my sister, loser!"

Ron was silent for a moment as he wondered whether he should stop talking and sit back down. He wasn't sure if he was really helping Bonnie's situation, but he could not resist. "I'm sure Bonnie will find a husband if she wants one. And she's smart and talented enough that even if her husband provides for her, she wouldn't need him to." He stared pointedly at Lonnie. "It looks to me like _you_ need a rich husband – or a husband with a rich dad, I should say – because it's pretty obvious that you're way too immature to support yourself"

This time, Lonnie was permanently silenced. The tense feeling in the living room was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. Bonnie finished the remaining food on her plate and set her silverware down, wiping her hands on a napkin. She stood up and pushed her chair back as she looked at her family indifferently. "I'd like to be excused," she said, taking Ron by the arm and leaving the living room without waiting for an answer. The rest of the Rockwaller family gaped, their silence broken only by the sound of the front door slamming shut.

Chad interrupted the Rockwaller family's stunned silence with a cough. "Somebody wanna pass the salt?"


	6. Breaking Up, Breaking Out

**Breaking Up, Breaking Out**

XX

Shego sat hunched against an earthen wall, unable to see a foot in front of her face. She could not remember ever having been so miserable. A hand lit up briefly with green flame, illuminating the small pit in which she was stuck, but Shego extinguished the light quickly. She had seen her surroundings many times already. A wooden grating that covered the top of the pit let in some light during the day, but right now the only view it provided was a starry night sky. It was too high to reach – Shego had tried before – and the earthen walls had a clay-like consistency that prevented her from clawing her way up any farther than a few feet before she slid back down to the floor of the pit.

She had lost track of time while she was in the pit. The last thing she could remember, a group of loggers had caught her by surprise and shot her with a tranquilizer dart. At least she called them loggers, but she really had no idea who they were, other than the fact that they were armed and clearly up to no good. The only thing she knew was that she had been stuck at the bottom of this pit for days. Shego's captors had originally tried to keep her in an above-ground cell, but decided a pit was wiser after she had bent the cell bars with her bare hands in an attempt to escape.

Other than the occasional piece of food lowered in a bucket tied to a rope – she also used a lowered bucket for more private needs, and she seriously hoped it was not the same one - the passage of time had been uninterrupted by anything except the appearance of stars or sunlight through the slats of the wooden cover. Sometimes she heard mechanical noises from up above, or the sounds of people chatting and walking by, but she could not make anything out too clearly.

As she sat motionlessly in the darkness and felt sorry for herself, a noise above her head caught her attention. She looked up to see the pit's cover being removed as a man with an assault rifle stared down at her. He yelled something down, but she could not understand him.

"I don't speak Portuguese, buddy! Why don't you let me up and we can work out what you're saying in a more hands-on way!" She flexed her claw-like hands in anticipation.

The man yelled several more things, but was suddenly brushed aside by someone who looked down into the pit at the strange green-skinned woman within. "Hello there," he said. "I speak English."

"Congratulations! Can you get me out of here, too?"

"In a sense. My name is Paulo. I am a prisoner, like yourself – they brought me here to translate. They're going to let you out of the pit to speak to their boss. He just got here, and he'd like to have a few words with you."

The man's dim visage disappeared from the top of the pit. Shego had to wait a few moments, but suddenly a ladder was eased down to the bottom. She grabbed the ladder and began to climb her way up; these people were stupider than she thought. She didn't know what 'boss' meant, but she'd like to have a few words with him as well. More than words, in fact. As she reached the top of the pit, she noticed a loose circle of people gathered around it, pointing what looked like AK-47's at her. Okay, so perhaps they weren't that dumb. She smiled and held her hands up in the air.

"Hey guys, no surprises right? I'll play along."

Shego looked at her surroundings in attempt to gauge where she was. The pit seemed to be in placed in an empty dirt clearing which was surrounded by dilapidated buildings. A dirt road trailed off past the men surrounding her, lined by more buildings that looked like they had been built in a hurry. Acrid smoke curled up from some of the buildings. The dark silhouette of the jungle canopy reared up, a jagged pattern the night sky, not far behind the edges of the settlement. The place gave Shego the impression that it was some kind of temporary operations center for whatever illegal things the men were doing out here in the jungle. There was only one thing she knew for sure; it was nowhere near where she had landed her jet.

One man broke through the circle and approached her. He wore a suit and tie, dressed better than what Shego assumed were his henchmen, and did not have a weapon of his own. Paulo, the translator who had been talking to her earlier, appeared and took a position next to the two of them. The boss whispered something to him.

"He asks who you are, and what it is that you are doing here," Paulo said.

Shego stared at the boss with eyes that burned like coals. "I'm his worst nightmare, and I'm here on business that has nothing to do with him, unless he wants to get in the way."

The boss laughed as Shego's response was relayed back to him. He looked over his green-skinned captor with interest. She was covered in mud, black hair mussed and tangled, but even in her present state he could tell she was beautiful. Beautiful and cheeky, despite her helpless position. He thought she would be quite the exotic specimen with a little bath. The boss said something to Paulo and pointed at Shego in a way that she definitely did not like.

"The boss says that perhaps he can work out an arrangement to let you go."

"What kind of arrangement is that?"

After another whispered exchange, the translator looked at Shego apprehensively. "He says that you are a very beautiful woman. His office is just down the road, and perhaps you would like to use his cleaning facilities, and then discuss something in more detail with him privately."

Shego noticed the boss giving her a lecherous grin. She returned the grin, although a keener observer might have noticed that her grin carried a very different meaning. "Alright, Paulo. Tell him I am interested in working out an arrangement".

Shego approached the boss with a sultry look, wiggling her hips just a little. She licked her lips in a way that, for some reason, reminded Paulo of a venus flytrap closing around an unfortunate bug. The circle of armed henchmen, who had been watching the exotic green woman with interest, were now entranced by her. It was too late before they realized their mistake.

Shego had her arm around the boss's neck before anyone saw what had happened. She held him as a shield against herself and yelled at Paulo. "Tell them to drop their weapons or this guy gets it!"

The translator barked a terse command to the other men, who paused. The boss nodded and said something in agreement, and the men promptly laid down their weapons. Shego could feel the quickening pulse of blood in her captor's throat – it excited her. It called out to her. One arm was snaked around the man's neck, but the other arm was nowhere to be seen. The man cried out in terror and babbled something out loud.

"What's he saying?" Shego asked Paulo.

"He says, please do not squeeze so hard, he is very sensitive down there."

Shego smiled in anticipation. The man had asked nicely, so she would stop. Paulo watched with a stricken expression and several henchmen in the circle fainted as the boss's face was lit up by a sudden burst of green flame emanating from his waist. As the boss crumpled to the ground in a heap, Shego raised her flaming hands and pointed them at the recently disarmed henchmen, letting loose jets of plasma.

"Say hello to my little friends!"

XX

"What is this?"

Josh Mankey stared at handful of crayons scattered on top of a kid's menu, which was covered in colorful scribbles.

"I apologize, sir. Someone must have forgotten to clean the table. Please, allow me." Their waiter cleared the menu and crayons from the table as Josh and Kim sat down to eat. Josh had invited her on a date to Chez Couteaux, a fancy French restaurant, at the last minute. While Kim felt ambivalent about going out at all, she was worried it would be rude to turn Josh down.

"You sure you don't want to hone your artistic skills?" teased Kim.

Josh looked at her with a slightly confused smile. "Nah, I don't think so Kim. I'm not really into crayons."

The waiter placed their menus on the table and left. Kim opened her menu with a slight gasp as she saw the prices listed inside. Looking at the unpronounceable items on the menu almost made her long for a Naco, since she had not been to Bueno Nacho for a while. Ever since she and Ron had fallen out.

As she stared at Josh across the table, she felt a sudden rush of guilt as she realized she would rather be hanging out with Ron. Her relationship with Josh had been stagnating, if it was ever really a relationship in the first place, considering how briefly they had been a couple. She tried to understand why, but couldn't really come up with anything specific. Josh had some annoying traits, sure, but so did everyone. Ron was certainly not excluded. The only thing she could really tell was that she and Josh simply did not have much in common. They just didn't click.

"Are we ready to order?" the waiter asked as he returned to the table with a pen and pad of paper.

Josh made his order while Kim repeated something off the menu without paying attention. As the waiter took their menus away, she and Josh fell into an uncomfortable silence. The restaurant window beside them offered a view of a well-tended hillside landscape that was illuminated by outdoor floodlights. Kim stared out the window in order to avoid looking awkwardly at her date. It was strange; she and Ron would sit in silence in her room or at Bueno Nacho sometimes, but it was never really awkward. Perhaps their years of growing up together had taken away that feeling and replaced it with familiarity. Of course, another factor she had to consider was that Ron talked enough to drown out most opportunities for silence.

She and Josh had barely spoken more than a few sentences to each other by the time the waiter returned with their meals. Kim picked up a knife and fork and was about to dig in to her food, grateful for the opportunity to preoccupy herself with something besides sitting awkwardly, when her Kimmunicator echoed through the restaurant with its familiar _beep-beep-BE-beep_.

"Hey Wade!" said Kim as other restaurant patrons glared at the interruption. "Sitch me."

"Hey Kim. I'm not sure exactly what the sitch is, but I've gotten some information that Shego is in the Amazon rainforest, near the valley where the Aurora Orchid grows. It could be that she and Drakken are planning to make more of that embarrassment spray."

"Alright, and you want me to cut her off before they start all over again? Can do!" Kim replied a little too eagerly.

"Do you want me to tell Ron?"

Kim thought for a moment. "I don't think so, Wade. Things have just been so weird between us... I don't think he'd want to go on a mission with me right now."

"If you say so. Where are you right now?"

"Chez Couteaux."

"Alright, I'll have a ride over there in about twenty minutes." The diners who were familiar with Kim Possible groaned when they realized they could look forward to a jet engine interrupting their dinner in another twenty minutes.

"Thanks Wade!"

Kim pocketed the Kimmunicator and stared across the table at Josh. She realized that she felt a bit nervous about going on a mission with no sidekick to back her up. She had done it before, but it was still an unusual occurrence. Perhaps she could drag Josh along... their date was starting off awkwardly, but on a mission, at least she would have other things to think about.

"Hey Josh, you want to come with? It's not as bad as it sounds, really you'd just run around and be a distraction while I do the heavy duty stuff."

Josh looked like he was thinking carefully about what to say next. "I don't think so Kim. To be honest with you, it's hard for me to understand that part of your life. I mean, it's great that you save people and fight evil and all, but don't you want to have more time for yourself?" He took a bite of his meal as he looked at her questioningly.

Kim frowned. "I have enough time for myself."

"Well, yeah, but this is high school. It's only going to get harder once you get into college. I mean, think about after college, for that matter. Balancing a career and fighting evil as a side hobby? Don't get me wrong Kim, you're smart, and you work hard, but it's not like you can do anything."

Kim felt a sudden flash of anger. She was about to respond to Josh, but she calmed herself down and thought about what he had just said. Did he have a point? She always said she could do anything, and if she was being honest with herself, she realized that wasn't literally true. She couldn't bend the laws of physics. She couldn't get Ron to eat a Naco in a dignified way. But that wasn't really what 'I can do anything' meant. It wasn't a literal statement. It was something different, something more subtle. It was an attitude.

Maybe she couldn't do anything, but she tried her hardest to do anything she put her mind to. She was certain that she could live her life while fighting evil and helping people at the same time. She had no alternative, really. Doing that _was_ her life. Her family understood that, and Ron understood it, but now Josh apparently did not. As her anger subsided, she realized that she didn't really blame him for it. It would be unreasonable for her to expect Josh to go with her on missions if he wasn't interested. And there was nothing wrong with a person wanting to focus on themselves, instead of spending all their time helping others. Most people did that. It was their life, after all. But it was not Kim's life. She realized what she had to do.

"Josh? I think we should stop seeing each other."

XX

Ron and Bonnie had been walking in silence down the sidewalk for a little while. It was dark out, but ornate street lamps cast a warm glow on the concrete at various intervals. Even in the dark, Ron could see that Bonnie's neighborhood was more upscale than his own. Ahead of them, the road began to bend as they reached a stone wall topped by iron rivets. Bonnie opened a gate set into the stone and led Ron into what looked like a small park. A gravel path wound its way through a copse of pine trees, and standing in the center of the park were a few picnic tables and benches, along with a small moss-covered stone fountain that did not seem to run in the evenings.

Bonnie sat down on a park bench, holding Ron's hand as she pulled him down to sit beside her in the darkness. "I like to go here sometimes if I want to avoid my family," she explained. "It's really pleasant, and for some reason nobody in the neighborhood seems to hang around here much."

Ron looked at the dim outline of her face. "You okay, Bonnie? I gotta tell you, back at your house I felt like I was in some mad scientist's lair dodging lasers."

"I'm cool. Thanks for sticking up for me in there."

"Hey, it's all good Bonbon! Your sisters were totally wack. You know what they said wasn't true."

Bonnie sniffed a little. "I know. It's just hard sometimes. Anyways, it's not like I'm that different from them, so maybe I can't complain. I treat people the way they treat me, I guess."

Ron wasn't sure how to answer her. Bonnie had been increasingly nice to him recently, but in a general sense, she had a point. Her sisters were crueler, perhaps, but Bonnie could be fairly cruel herself. "That's doesn't make it cool for them to treat you the way they did, though."

Bonnie smiled at his comment. "So you're agreeing with me that I can be a total bitch, huh?"

"What? Did I say that? I, uh..."

Ron gulped nervously as he trailed off, causing Bonnie to laugh at his reaction. "You know, I think that's the first time I've ever seen Lonnie without a comeback. And that dinner was amazing, Ronnie. I thought tonight was going to be the worst, and it _was_ major suckage, but for once I showed them up. I did something better than them."

"Hey, it's no big. You don't have to thank me for the dinner. You made most of it yourself, I was just helping a lady out! And I don't know what you mean about doing something better than your sisters. If you wanna know my opinion, they seem jealous. You're their little sis and you do well in school, you're good at cheering, you're prettier than both of them."

Bonnie blushed at the last comment.

"From what I've seen, I'm betting Lonnie wasn't exactly bringing in the high marks back in school. And Connie, what fashion magazine did you say she worked for?"

"It's called _Wild Styles_. She got promoted to a temporary writing position."

"Well, that's not really a big promotion. Nothing for her to be making you feel bad about, for sure! And I'll have you know that my best buds include Kim Possible and Monique Jenkins, both fashion gurus, and yet I've never heard of that magazine before. So don't be jealous of your sisters Bonnie, you got it going on!"

Bonnie listened to Ron's reassurances with a growing sense that something was fluttering in her stomach. Nobody had ever said anything like this to her before, except maybe Tara on occasion. But none of her previous boyfriends had encouraged her the way Ron did. She looked at his face in the moonlight, and thought that maybe he wasn't as dorky looking as she thought. Or perhaps he was, and Bonnie was just realizing she was okay with dorky. As Ron trailed off, unable to think of anything else to say, Bonnie began to lean closer. The space between them on the park bench disappeared as her lips parted, hot breath brushing gently against Ron's cool skin...

_Beep beep-BE-beep!_

"Oh, that's my cell phone ring tone!" Ron grabbed the phone from his pocket and flipped it open, oblivious to Bonnie leaning her head back on the bench in frustration. "Hey, is that you Wade?"

"Hey Ron. Am I interrupting anything?"

"No, not at all!"

"Okay, well, Kim is on her way to the Amazon in the same place where you got that flower to cure her, remember? I've been tipped off that Shego is there, and we think she might be up to no good. I thought I'd call you if you wanted to tag along."

Ron was hesitant. "What did Kim say?"

"Uh... she didn't say anything either way."

After a moment of thought, Ron decided that if she was going on a mission, Kim needed backup, no matter what things were like between them. "Alright, just send the ride to my house, I'm not too far away from it. I'm coming along!" He flipped the cell phone closed and put it back in his pocket, turning to Bonnie.

"Sorry Bonnie, but a sitch just came up."

Bonnie nodded. "I know. You gotta do what you gotta do. Good luck, Ron." She watched with an ominous feeling in the pit of her stomach as her boyfriend got up from the bench and walked away, fading into the darkness amongst the pine trees.

XX

A bank of computer monitors cast a fuzzy glow over a room decked out in technology and gadgets. Swiveling in a desk chair, a pudgy young man smiled and crossed his arms behind his head in satisfaction. Wade Load didn't know the details of what was going on between Ron and Kim, but he knew they were no longer on speaking terms. Based on his years of experience with the two of them, he guessed that Kim was too proud to take the first step in fixing things, and Ron was too immature.

That was why, even if Kim told him not to invite Ron on the mission, Ron was going. Wade didn't want to deal with the inevitable drama that their spat would cause, and he knew the two of them worked best together on missions, so he was taking matters into his own hands. Kim and Ron would make up, even if it meant dropping them in the middle of a rainforest to do it.

XX

Shego walked lazily through the smoking ruins of the settlement. Several fires still raged around her, and the stars were no longer visible through the haze of smoke that circled around the destruction she had caused. Several unconscious bodies were littered on the ground nearby, and screams emanated from farther away. Many of the henchmen, whoever they were, had run away into the forest to escape Shego's wrath, but others were not so lucky.

Shego had to admit the last half hour had almost made up for the remainder of this horrible trip. She couldn't remember having so much fun in a while – wanton destruction gave her a rush like no other. She had even found an RPG in one of the trucks parked in the settlement. An RPG! She had no idea what these people needed a rocket launcher for, and there were only a few rockets in the back of the truck, but she had been as giddy as a child opening their Christmas presents when a rocket blast crumpled the first building she targeted like it was made of playing cards. Unfortunately, she had gotten a little carried away in her playtime and there weren't a lot of supplies left intact to take with her, but she had walked through the wreckage and retrieved a few useful items, along with a backpack in which to hold them.

She passed another burning building and found the translator, who had wisely stayed at the edge of the settlement, waiting for Shego to sake her thirst for destruction. "Oh, hey there," the green-skinned woman said in greeting.

"Hello."

"I have a question for you, Paulo."

"Please, feel free to ask anything you'd like." Paulo felt a sudden urge to be very courteous.

"Alright. Do you happen to know anything about the Amazonian Aurora Orchid? I'm here to look for it, and I was told it only grows in remote regions in the center of the Amazon, one valley in particular."

Paulo nodded. "Yes, the Aurora Orchid, I have heard of this. I believe I know what valley you are talking about as well. The locals around here refer to it as The Valley Where One Must Not Pass Gas In Front of One's Friends. They have many strange tales of the effects of the flower, especially if its pollen is mixed in river water."

"Do you know where the valley is?"

"Not exactly, but I believe I can point you in the right direction. I wanted to thank you for saving me, by the way... these people were very cruel. They were perfectly willing to capture me and use me as their slave, and I only heard snippets of what else they were involved in, but it was nothing good, let me tell you. You are a true hero."

Shego smirked.. Their captors had clearly been involved in shady dealings, but their big mistake in her eyes was getting in her way. She was amused to be called a hero; it was too bad she couldn't lord it over Kim. "Whatever. Once you tell me where to go, I think there's a truck back in the village that I didn't get around to destroying. You might as well use that to get out of here."

After pointing her in the right direction and giving her a few landmarks to look for, Paulo went into the devastated remains of the settlement to find the truck she had mentioned. He had never seen anyone like the green-skinned woman before. She was certainly beautiful, and there was something intriguing about her, but Paulo did not mind putting some distance between the two of them. Clearly, it did not pay to get on her bad side.


	7. In the Jungle

**In the Jungle**

XX

Kim Possible made her way through the undergrowth of the jungle as best she could. As she had discovered on missions in the past, the rainforest was not as thick with vegetation as one might guess; she could almost stroll through it. She remembered something about the tall tree growth preventing a lot of sunlight from reaching the forest floor. However, the heat was sweltering, and her visibility was reduced since it was still early morning. She had a flashlight with her, but at the moment she was not using it. She did not want to attract attention to herself, and she had a more useful navigation tool ahead of her - a pair of green glowing orbs that floated eerily through the darkness. Shego was using them to light her own way.

Kim tried to restrain herself from sniffing and wiped a tear from her eye. She was beginning to regret breaking up with Josh. Not because she thought it was a mistake, but because the timing was horrible. She had done it impulsively, not wanting to drag out something that she knew was going to end anyways, but now she was going to be facing off against Shego in a distracted emotional state. She let out a quiet sigh and gathered her wits, steeling herself as she closed the distance to the green orbs. _Head in the game, Kim_, she told herself.

"Shego!"

"Kim Possible?" gasped Shego as she whirled around at the sound of her teen foe's voice.

"Trying the same scheme again, Shego? Nobody likes repeats. This is sad even for you guys!" Kim struck her arms out in an aggressive pose, but paused when she noticed Shego's appearance. Her green skin was dirty and marked with several scratches and bug bites, while her green and black jumpsuit looked torn and battered. Her black hair, which normally hung luxuriously to her waist, looked like it had picked a fight with a vacuum cleaner and lost.

"What are you babblng about, Princess?" asked Drakken's disheveled sidekick.

"The Aurora Orchid. You guys ran out of that embarrassment spray, and now you want to try to make me disappear again. Sorry Shego, but been there, done that!"

"Um, no. Good try though! Drakken sprayed himself, and now I have to traipse around in the freaking Amazon to find a flower and cure him."

"Seriously? That seems stupid, even for Drakken."

Shego rolled her eyes. "There is no such thing as 'stupid even for Drakken'."

"Why should I believe you, anyways?"

Shego brought her hands down and motioned to her unkempt clothing. "You think I'd go through all this to help Drakken with a scheme that we already tried and failed to pull off? He pays alright but I'm not _that_ loyal, honey. Not to mention that Drakken still has more than enough of that spray that we could do it again if we wanted to.

Now look, Kimmie, I've just spent the last – I don't even know, a long time – stuck in a dirty hole in the ground by some jokers who thought it was a good idea to get on my bad side, and I would really like to find this flower and take a long vacation. You can get out of my way, or I can go through you. Your call."

Kim considered her next move. Shego did have a good point. Kim didn't think she had ever seen her foe looking less attractive than she did now. And normally, Kim had to admit that Shego was an attractive woman. Assuming that Shego was telling the truth about Drakken spraying himself with the embarrassment serum, that would mean that the blue-skinned villain could disappear at any time. Which would make things easier for Kim, but she grudgingly admitted she could not let such a thing happen to someone. Not even to Drakken.

"Alright Shego, why don't I come with you then?"

"Ugh, are you serious?"

"I can help you find the flower. Two heads are better than one, after all. And since I still don't trust you, I can keep an eye on you and get some of that pollen to bring back myself, just in case you two really are going to try the same thing again."

Shego sighed and slumped her shoulders as she began trudging through the jungle again. "Well, I really don't feel like trying to stop you, so tag along if you insist."

They began to pick their way through the oppressive heat of the jungle. Their awkward silence was broken by the sounds of insects and jungle animals along with the faint sound of water flowing through the Amazon river, from which they were not too far away. They couldn't follow the river directly, since the undergrowth was too dense along the banks. The morning sun was beginning to rise if one was looking from the top of the tree canopy, but the gloomy forest floor was still bathed in relative darkness. Shego used hands engulfed in green flame to light the path ahead, while Kim used her flashlight.

After they had been walking for a few minutes, Shego noticed a glint in Kim's eye. "Princess, are you crying?" she asked with a grin.

"As if!"

"You are, aren't you!" laughed Shego. "Oh, this is priceless. What's the matter?"

Kim made an exasperated noise. "You really want to know? I broke up with my boyfriend, okay? The guy I've been crushing on for months. I dated him for less than a month and I broke up with him."

"Poor baby!"

Shego was enjoying herself, hoping that Kim would get angry and start an argument with her, but her foe simply walked on in silence. It did not look like she was taking the bait. Suddenly Shego felt a twinge of interest in Kim's personal life. Was she talking about that frosty-haired boy, the one that ate french fries dipped in chocolate milk shakes?

"Are you talking about Josh?"

Kim nodded.

"So why did you break up with him? He was kind of a hottie if you ask me."

"It's so the drama. He's a hottie for sure, but we didn't really have that much in common. And Ron didn't really like him."

Shego shrugged. "What does that matter? Ron doesn't choose who you get to date, does he?"

"Well, no," Kim explained, "it's just that things have been pretty weird between me and Ron ever since I started dating Josh. I kind of miss hanging out with him, I guess."

"It sounds to me like the buffoon is being a little baby. If he can't handle you spending time with someone else, he needs to get over it."

Kim thought for a moment. "You're right, but it's more than that. I don't know, the whole situation with Josh was just too complicated."

"I can't say I get it, Princess. Maybe this a teen thing."

They fell silent as Shego burned her way through a patch of particularly dense undergrowth, scattering several small rodents from the underbrush. Kim still had to use her flashlight, but the inky blackness of the jungle was beginning to shift into more of a dim blue-green hue as the morning dragged on. She thought about why her brief relationship with Josh was bothering her. Perhaps Shego had some kind of insight – after all, she was older – but Kim was worried that she had opened up too much already. Finally, Kim felt her fear overcome by the temptation to ask what was on her mind.

"Shego – have you had a lot of experience with guys?"

The black-haired older woman stopped in her tracks at the question. "What does that mean?" she said a little too defensively.

"I mean, have you gone out with a lot of guys?"

"That's not really any of your business, Princess."

"Sorry. I guess I'm just wondering what, in your experience, makes a guy attractive."

Shego snorted. "Good looks, of course. What kind of question is that?"

"Well, that's not really what I mean," said Kim as she scratched her head. "What makes you want to be with a guy?"

"Oh." Shego realized that the question stumped her. The green-skinned woman knew she was beautiful, and she knew how to get attention when she wanted it, but in reality she had not had a lot of experience with relationships. Occasional flings, perhaps. The odd trophy boyfriend. But she did not believe that she had the personality to connect with someone on a deeper level. She'd probably end up killing a guy if she actually had to live with one. Shego was amused at the thought that Drakken was perhaps the closest male relationship she had ever had – and she wanted to kill him half the time, or at least give him a good pounding.

Even setting aside her abrasive personality, Shego had never found the time for love. Working with her brothers as part of Team Go, the time she spent lost and alone after that had fallen apart, and her time working with Drakken or in jail – the two seemed to go hand in hand – had sucked up most of her life. Of course, perhaps those were just rationalizations, Shego thought. Maybe she was just a lesbian in denial. There _was_ that one time in college...

"A nice body and good massage skills makes me want to be with a guy, Kimmie." Shego noticed that the teen trailing beside her looked disheartened at the answer. "But I'm not sure you want to go by my example."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not you. Do you really want to live the way I live?"

Kim raised her eyebrow.

"I think if I were a goody-two-shoes overachiever crime fighting type," continued Shego, "I would be looking for a guy that supported me, a guy that I could feel comfortable with, that I wouldn't be trying to impress. So I could just be myself. Somebody that still liked me even when I was at my worst."

Kim was about to respond when the ground suddenly fell away beneath her feet. Before she could get her balance, she went toppling down the side of a steep hill that neither of them had noticed while they were in conversation. Kim tumbled painfully as plants whipped her face and skin. At one point, she narrowly avoided slamming face-first into a tree trunk; the wood glanced off her side, causing her to cry out in pain. She finally rolled to a stop as the ground leveled out, her body aching and hair caked in leaves and dirt. Gasping for breath, she lay still for a moment and watched the top of the hill as Shego, who had been trailing behind Kim, started to carefully make her way down the hillside.

Still in a daze, Kim looked at her surroundings and noticed she had rolled right into what looked like a patch of Aurora Orchids. How convenient, she thought. At least she hadn't rolled over them and crushed them. She was about to get up when she let out a sharp gasp and fell back on her elbows.

"What's wrong?" asked Shego as she reached the bottom of the hill.

"Ugh... I think I might have broken my ankle."

Shego noticed the orchids growing around Kim's prone form. "It looks like you managed to find the valley, at least."

She pulled off her backpack of supplies, got out a couple of plastic baggies, and began to shake pollen from the Aurora Orchids into them. The black haired villain sealed the bags shut as she walked over to Kim, where the red-headed teen was still lying prone on the ground, and knelt down to her knees. A pale green hand reached down towards Kim's bare waist. The tiny hairs of Kim's stomach raised themselves at the electrical feeling of Shego's presence. Black hair spilled down over Kim's face as Shego leaned in close.

"Shego, what are you doing?" Kim said in alarm. She felt hot breath against her neck, felt Shego's warm hand slide against her leg and make her hair stand on end. The hand reached into a pocket. Kim felt a weight being removed, and Shego stood back up with the Kimmunicator.

"Gonna need this to get out of here and find my jet, Princess. I assume it can do GPS locating?" Shego turned and began to climb back up the hillside.

"Shego, wait! Help me!"

She turned back to look at Kim, who was standing up hesitantly on one foot and leaning against a tree to support herself.

"I don't think so, Kimmie."

"I don't know if I can make it by myself. Please."

"I have to maintain my evil cred, you know. I just wiped out some kind of illegal deforestation operation, and while it was more fun than a barrel of monkeys, I'm pretty sure I was helping to save the rainforest. Helping my arch foe get out of the jungle on top of that? I'd be a regular do-gooder, so no can do. You really want help though?"

Kim nodded.

"Alright. I'll help you out. It sounds to me like you've got a thing for your sidekick and you don't want to admit it to yourself. You were asking me what to look for in a guy? Learn to appreciate what you've already got." Shego looked at the side of the hill on which she was perched and picked up a fallen branch, tossing it down to Kim.

"Here's a walking stick. By the way, you should really take a shower if you make it out of here – it's a shame to see that gorgeous red hair of yours looking so filthy. Good luck!" Shego laughed as she scaled the top of the hill and disappeared from view.

XX

Ron Stoppable made his way through the undergrowth of the jungle as best he could, unable to shake the feeling that Kim had taken this exact route recently. He had been trying his best to trail two distant specks of green light ahead of him in the depths of the jungle, but a few minutes ago they had winked out of existence as the morning sunlight started penetrating through the jungle canopy.

"Ngh, there yet?" Rufus poked his pink head out from Ron's pocket and wiped a sweaty forehead with his claws.

"Almost there buddy. Nacos when we get back home, I promise!"

Ron wondered if he was getting out of shape as he wheezed his way forward, but his thoughts soon returned to Bonnie in the park, before he had left to go with Kim on her mission. Had she been trying to kiss him? Girls always confused Ron, but this was getting ridiculous. He no longer had any idea what to do. The relationship with Bonnie had been a sham at first, a charade to get back at Kim, and it worked - only now, Ron regretted what he had done. By the time he realized his mistake, not only were things awkward with Kim, but he couldn't seem to extricate himself from the relationship. He didn't want to hurt Bonnie, and unless he was wildly off base, she seemed like she was beginning to like him for some reason.

_How do I feel about her?_ Ron asked himself. She was definitely beautiful, but there was a lot of bad history between them, and between her and Kim. He realized that he did like Bonnie, and wanted to know her better, but perhaps only as a friend. His feelings towards Kim, however, seemed different.

"Kim!"

Ron reached the edge of a steep hillside and saw Kim sitting down with her back to a tree in the valley below, surrounded by a patch of Amazonian Aurora Orchids. She looked a bit bruised and battered, but her face lit up as she heard his shout.

"Ron!"

"Hold on, I'm coming down!"

Ron raced down the steep hillside and lost his footing towards the end, tumbling head over heels the last few yards. He shook his head as he got up, looked down in confusion at the sudden breeze he felt against his legs, and then noticed his torn pants hanging from a branch on the hillside where he had been rolling down. Rufus poked his head out from a pocket and waved at him.

"Aw man!" Ron retrieved his pants while his mole rat leaped from their pocket and ran to Kim.

"Yayy Kim!" The mole rat attempted to hug her with his tiny arms, which did not quite work out.

"Nice to see you too, Rufus."

"You okay KP?"

"No. I fell down the hill and broke my ankle."

"Yikes. Did you stop Shego?"

"Not exactly. She said Drakken sprayed himself with the embarrassment serum, and she was just getting the flowers as an antidote. Either way, she's long gone by now. We should get a couple of these flowers though, just in case she was lying and they're planning to humiliate us out of existence again."

Ron nodded and began to dig up one of the flowers with his pet mole rat's help.

Kim smiled. "You know, this is the first time we've talked in a long time."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You want to tell me why you're going out with Bonnie now?"

Ron finished digging up the plants. The tree canopy of the valley seemed to be less dense than in other parts of the rainforest, and the bright morning sun was now causing him to sweat profusely. Kim's question probably wasn't helping either. Ron decided to be evasive and talk about something else. "You know, it might be easier to just shake the pollen off of these flowers into a baggie, instead of taking the entire flower with us."

Kim nodded. "That is a good idea. I'm not the one who took the entire flower last time, Ron."

Kim's comment reminded Ron of the night of her first date with Josh. By the time he had gotten there with the flower, there was nothing left of Kim but a head. That sitch had really come to a _head_, Ron thought. He chuckled at his own pun.

"What's so funny?"

"Uh, nothing. You know, that reminds me Kim. You never thanked me for saving your life on that date with Josh."

"I didn't?"

"No. You talked about Josh for hours after that date. And then we didn't hang out that weekend, and you left for school with him that Monday morning without even telling me! I had to hear it from your dad."

Kim began to feel a little guilty. "You're right... I guess I wasn't paying much attention to you. And I'm sorry I didn't say thanks for saving my life. That was pretty big, Ron. I don't know what it was with me and Josh, I just lost my head over him."

"Almost," Ron agreed. "Wait, what do you mean by 'what it was', KP?"

Kim paused. "I broke up with Josh before I came here to stop Shego. I guess I just realized that we didn't really work together as a couple."

Ron was caught by surprise at Kim's comment. He wasn't sure how he felt; a strange mixture of emotions coursed through him in reaction to the news that Kim and Josh were no longer together. On the one hand, he felt sorry for Kim, since she had been crushing on Josh for a long time, and as much as he disliked Josh, he did not want Kim to be unhappy. On the other hand...

"Here you go Kim, grab on and I'll help you up."

Kim used Ron for leverage as she got up and began to move, walking stick clutched in her free hand. She looked at her surroundings as she leaned against her best friend, wincing at the pain that coursed through her ankle as a result of her body moving again.

"We should call Wade and find out where we need to go to get an airlift," suggested Ron as they moved towards the center of the valley. "It's possible he could even get us picked up in the valley here."

"I don't have the Kimmunicator. Shego stole it to find her way out of here before she left."

"Oh man! So we're going to have to wait for Wade to find us? So not cool!"

"Don't worry, I don't think it will take too long."

"Why not?"

"Well, we are in the Aurora Orchid valley, so he should be able to send someone out to spot us once he decides it's taking too long to contact us." Kim also knew that Wade could track their exact location thanks to Ron's tracking chip, but she decided that information was on a need to know basis.

Kim sighed. "This has just been the worst couple of days, Ron. First I break up with Josh, then Shego ditches me in the middle of the jungle, and now I won't even be able to compete in that cheer contest with this broken ankle. I don't know how I was so clueless with Josh."

Ron thought about what to say next. He and Kim were finally talking, opening up to each other; perhaps this was his opportunity. "Don't worry about it, Kim. Anyway, there are guys out there that are better for you than Josh."

"You really think there's a guy out there for me?"

"Out there..."

As Ron stopped with a theatrical pause, Kim looked around them in confusion. "What, in the rainforest?"

"No, no. I was going to say 'in here'."

"That still doesn't make any sense."

"What?" Ron thought for a moment. His attempts at being poetic were not working out. "Wait, okay, it's the wrong phrasing. I mean like, right here. Like me!"

Kim was silent.

"KP, I started going out with Bonnie because I was jealous of you and Josh. I don't think I realized it at first, but I get it now. I like you, Kim. As more than a friend." He watched Kim apprehensively as she listened, but he could not read her expression. "If I wasn't going out with Bonnie, would you want to go out with me?"

"I don't think so, Ron."

The sentence hit Ron like a sledgehammer. She had not even paused before she said it. He hadn't really taken the time to think about what her response might be, but this seemed harsh.

"Ron, I do like you. But you went out with Bonnie. You're still going out with Bonnie right now, aren't you?"

Ron looked sheepish. "Yeah..."

"And you're trying to ask another girl out while you're still in a relationship with her? Even if it _is_ a fake relationship. I mean, I don't know the details about the two of you and your little scheme."

"Look, I'm sorry Kim. I know it was wrong to-"

"And you know," interrupted Kim, "I understand I treated you badly with the way I was acting when I first went out with Josh, but he's really not a bad guy. Maybe it didn't work out between us, but it was unfair of you to do what you did just because I was going out with someone. You wouldn't even have a problem with Josh if it wasn't for my crush on him, anyways. You even went trick or treating with him once!"

"Yeah, that's true, I-"

"When you went out with Bonnie, I felt like you stabbed me in the back, Ron. I mean, think about how she's treated me. Or how she's treated you, for that matter. Think about how you would have felt if I came to school and kissed Josh in front of you, and that was my way of letting you know we were together. Maybe I was ignoring you and being insensitive by going on about Josh so much, but at least I was talking to you.

"Why didn't you just try to talk to me, and tell me how you felt about me and Josh? I think it was a really childish thing for you to do if you were jealous of us. I'm glad we're talking again, because you're my best friend, Ron. But I can't think about going out with you yet, not after the stuff you did."

Ron was at a loss for words. It hurt to hear Kim say it, but he realized she was right. From Kim's perspective, all she saw was Ron going out with Bonnie with no warning. Not only that, but Kim had not seen the side of Bonnie that Ron had gotten to know recently. For all Kim knew, Ron had rejected her entirely for her social nemesis – and now he had asked her out with what looked like horrible timing. As they found a place to sit down while they waited for their rescue to arrive, Ron anticipated an incredibly awkward afternoon.


	8. Ron Night

**Ron Night**

XX

_ Tick, tick, tick._

A clock hung from the wall of Drakken's lair and echoed through the room like an insect buzzing. The horrible sound drove itself into Drakken's ear over and over as he sat alone at a table, whistling tunelessly.

His invisible hands drummed a scattered rhythm across the tabletop. Grains of spilled powdered hot chocolate mix jumped up and down on the table as they danced to the vibrations of his fingers. Drakken had lost track of time long ago, but he knew Shego should have long since returned. Had his loyal sidekick really left him? Drakken wracked his brain for why such a thing could happen. His mind was a blank expanse, punctuated with the occasional thought that Dementor might have improved his benefits package for henchmen. Dementor was always trying to show him up.

Torn packages of hot chocolate mix lay scattered across the floor. Drakken considered making some more cocoa moo, but he felt bloated. He had briefly attempted to watch television earlier, but after catching a scene of _American Starmaker_ in which a particularly untalented contestant was ripped apart by the judges, Drakken had noticed that his feet were missing. Apparently the spray worked even in cases of being embarrassed vicariously through others. Drakken felt like he was beginning to go stir-crazy, cooped up in his lair for days on end. He couldn't take it much longer, that was for sure.

"Nnnngh, Shego? Where _are_ you?" he spoke to no one in particular.

"Who's that, honey? Oh, is that your assistant?"

Drakken's eyes almost dropped out of his head at the sight of his mother entering the room from a nearby hallway. He watched her carefully for a moment without responding; perhaps she was simply a figment of his imagination. He pinched himself. No, he wasn't sleeping.

"Mother, how did you get in here?"

"I let myself in, Drewbie. Nobody was answering the doorbell!"

Drakken blinked. Did he have a doorbell installed? That didn't seem right for a villain's lair. Maybe one of the henchmen came up with it. His mother held up what looked like a handful of magazines that she had been holding at her side. "What are these? I was cleaning up your room a little bit and found them under your bed. This one's called _So Naughty She's Nice_. What an interesting title!"

As his mother began to peruse the magazine, Drakken suddenly understood that he was about to die. He looked down to see a small vortex appear in the center of his stomach, into which all light and color disappeared. Another minute of this and he would be sucked into oblivion.

"I have to go, mother!" His chair clattered across the floor as Drakken leaped up from the table and threw himself through the door of his lair, running wildly away with no idea where he was going. He was running for his life.

"Drewbie, what about your magazines?"

XX

The Rockwaller house was quiet and empty. Connie and Lonnie had gone out again with their mother, and John Rockwaller was away on yet another business trip. The only remaining occupant of the house, Bonnie, was in her room with the door closed. It was just after school and early afternoon light poured through the window, bathing her room as she halfheartedly practiced some moves for the upcoming cheer contest. Her heart was not in the practice because she was expecting someone to be over at any minute.

A soft knock at the bedroom door interrupted her routine. Bonnie knew who it was, and she had her suspicions about why he had asked to come over that day at school. She opened the door. "Hey Ron."

"Hi Bonnie. Thanks for letting me come over."

Ron entered the room and sat down nervously on Bonnie's bed. She could already tell that he was steeling himself up to say something, so she sat down next to him and waited.

"Bonnie... I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. After I got back from the Amazon from helping Kim out... well, we ended up talking about a few things while we were there."

Bonnie's heart began to sink, but she did not say anything.

"I know that I started this whole relationship with you to get back at Kim, and I've realized that it was wrong. It was unfair to Kim, and it's unfair to you. I don't know how you feel about -"

Ron's speech was abruptly cut off by a pair of lips that met his own. Startled, he almost fell backwards on the bed as Bonnie grabbed him and pulled him into a passionate embrace. She kissed him feverishly, impatiently, insistently – he had never felt anything like it before, partly because he didn't have a track record when it came to kissing, but partly because it overwhelmed him. A pair of soft, tanned arms snaked around his back, holding him in place, pushing his head forward against hungry lips that stole his breath away. Ron did not know how to respond, did not know if he wanted to return the kiss – no, he wanted to return it, Bonnie was hard to resist – but he knew it would only make it harder to get out what he had to say. He felt brown hair tickling his ears and face as Bonnie pulled away from him. Her green eyes gazed at him beseechingly.

"Ronnie, I know I was just using you when we started going out. I know this was all just a game. But I don't feel that way anymore. I like you." She paused to wipe a tear from her eye. "I don't know how I ended up liking some loser that hangs out with Kim Possible all the time, but it's true."

Ron nodded hesitantly. "Thanks...?"

"Wait Ron, that came out wrong. You're not a loser, you're just really weird. But in a good way, I guess!" Bonnie paused as she tried to collect her thoughts. "You make me feel better about myself. I'll try to change Ron, I really will. I know I'm not always that nice, but I want to change that, if you give me a chance."

Ron almost wanted to forget about what he was going to say, just to avoid hurting Bonnie, but he shook his head. "Bonnie, if you want to change, you should do it for yourself. Not for me. I wish I didn't have to do this. I really do like you, but just not that way. I like KP that way. And I dealt with that in a really stupid way instead of just admitting it, and ended up hurting both of you. But we can't keep seeing each other."

Bonnie dropped back on the bed as Ron finished speaking. She knew it was going to happen from the moment that Ron left to go on a mission with Kim. She probably should have known it from the minute he first called her and asked her out on a ridiculous pretense. Ron wanted to be with Kim. Kissing Ron was her last ditch attempt to stave off what was coming, and it failed. How in the world could any guy resist that kiss? She wanted to be angry at him, but she couldn't deny that she understood why he was breaking up with her. Unfortunately, understanding it didn't make it any less painful.

"You okay Bonnie?"

"What do you think" she snapped.

Ron blushed and hung his head down. "Sorry. Stupid question."

She softened a bit at the sight of his reaction. "That's alright. I guess I should have seen this coming. We both went into this for the wrong reasons. I mean, I wanted to rain on Kimmie's parade just as much as you did."

"I know this is a cliché and all, but I really would like to be friends with you Bonnie. I guess I never really knew you before we started going out, but I feel like I've seen a different side of you now. And if you really want to change, I can be there to help you."

"I'd like that."

Both of the teens fell into a long silence. Ron looked around at Bonnie's room, noticing how clean and well-organized it was. A polished oak desk was topped with several awards and trophies. The cork board above it was hung with a large number of pictures of Bonnie, some of which looked like professional modeling shots. There were no photos of her sisters to be found, although a picture of her parents sat framed on a corner of the adjacent bookcase. It seemed strange at first that Bonnie would have it, but Ron supposed she must love her parents despite her obviously strained relationship with them.

He saw several photos of the Middleton cheer squad – Kim included – alongside a few that just showed Bonnie and Tara. He even noticed a Cuddlebuddy sitting on one of the bookcase's shelves. Perhaps she and Kim had more in common than she thought. Ron found it interesting that a room could say so many things about a person. The room seemed almost fragile, like an egg. He suddenly felt awkward, as if he was encroaching on Bonnie's privacy.

"Ron?"

"Yes, Bonnie?"

Bonnie was laying in bed on her side, her back turned to Ron. "Could you leave now? I want to be alone."

"Sure."

Ron got up from the side of the bed and left the room, easing the door shut behind him. He could hear faint sounds of crying as he began to walk down the hallway to the stairs. Things had not gone quite as badly as he was expecting, but he still felt horrible. Lately, Ron was _really_ not hitting it off well with the ladies.

XX

Steel doors crumpled under a powerful impact. Another impact rang like a bell through the room as the doors flew off their hinges, propelled by a jet of bright green plasma. Through the broken door frame stalked a very angry looking and unkempt figure who wore green, black, and a grimace of anger.

"_Drakken_!"

Shego looked around the sprawling entrance of Drakken's lair, but saw no sign of the mad scientist or any of his henchmen. Perhaps he had already disappeared. Shego wasn't sure she would mind if that was the case.

"Drakken, where are you! I've spent God knows how long trudging through the jungle, beating up random Brazilian people, and sharing relationship advice with one of my least favorite people in the world! I've got your antidote, but if you don't get your butt out here right now, you're going to disappear after I vaporize you!"

The room echoed with the sound of her ranting. Shego drew in a few deep breaths as her threats were met with nothing but silence, until finally the sound of clacking footsteps echoed closer to the room. She looked across at a hallway entrance as a portly-looking older woman stepped out, sporting a dated haircut and sunglasses.

"Hello there honey. Are you looking for my baby boy?"

It was Drakken's mother. In his lair. With no sign of Drakken.

Shego's anger melted into horror. _Oh no_, she thought. _Poor Doctor D. I'm too late!_

XX

"-and then she said I was a big baby and wouldn't go out with me, and I guess she was kinda right, and so that's why I need your help with this."

Ron Stoppable reached the end of his long-winded story, taking a deep breath as he waited for a response. He was in a workout room, sitting on a cushioned leather bench connected to a weight machine which he briefly considered but ultimately decided against using. Ron had originally come to complain and ask for romantic advice, but when he noticed a lute displayed prominently in the living room of the house in which he had entered, he began to form a plan in his mind as he tracked down the grunting and clanging sounds to the workout room.

In front of him, having finished with his bench presses, a well-built man sporting a crew cut and white tank top placed the barbell back in its rack mount. He sat up and grabbed a towel to wipe off his forehead as he stared at his student.

"STOPPABLE! How in the world did you get into my house?"

"I have my ways, Mr. B."

"It looks like you have your ways of getting extra detention as well!"

Steve Barkin watched as his most troublesome student deflated. He had no idea how Stoppable had gotten into his house, or why he wasn't off doing something normal teens did on a Friday evening, but he felt moved by the young man's plan. Steve would never admit it to a student, but he was a romantic at heart. Stoppable needed help, and Steve Barkin could provide that help. Even, Barkin thought, if it meant breaking out his prodigious musical talents. Also he wanted the boy out of his house.

"Stoppable, if I do this for you, you will leave me alone and never come back to my house after school hours again?"

"Yes sir! You can count on that, sir!"

Steve stood up from the barbell bench and snapped crisply to attention, a sense of purpose radiating from his face. "Alright then. Let's DO THIS!"

XX

A warm breeze blew through the open window of the loft bedroom in which Kim Possible sprawled, motionless and morose, on her bed. Her lower leg was immobilized in a stiff cast, and she was dressed in pajamas even though it was still early in the evening. Today was a Friday without plans, without a point, without anything to get up for. She felt miserable. The cheer contest would be taking place over the weekend, and she would not be able to compete due to her broken ankle. A whole bunch of practice and preparation for nothing. Not to mention that tonight was Ron Night – unofficially, anyways – and there was little chance of hanging out with Ron. Not enough time had passed since she had rejected him while they were in the Amazon.

"Kimmie-cub, do you want to come down and watch _Captain Constellation_ with me?" her father shouted from downstairs.

"No thanks, dad." Not only did she dislike the show, but she did not really feel like dealing with any questions from her family about her current funk.

Kim wondered if her friendship with Ron could even go back to the way it had been. After being estranged from each other, Ron revealing his feelings to her, and then getting turned down by her, perhaps she had changed things between the two of them for good. Ron was her best friend, and she didn't want to lose that, but it had been a tumultuous couple of weeks.

What was more, she didn't even know how she felt anymore. Ron was her best friend, that was true. But what else did she feel? The revelation of Ron's true feelings towards her had caught her by surprise, even though she had vaguely suspected it as the reason behind his awkweird relationship with Bonnie. She hadn't really thought of Ron in that way before. He was her friend, her sidekick. Was he a guy? _That_ kind of guy? After her experience with Josh, and after some of the things that Shego of all people had told her, she was having trouble sorting out her thoughts.

As she lay in bed, one arm tucked around a Cuddlebuddy and the other tucked underneath her pillow, a faint melody began to drift through the open window. At first it sounded distant, as if it was coming from across the yard, but the tune grew louder until it sounded as if it was coming from right below her window. She listened to the sound with a growing curiosity. If she wasn't mistaken, it was coming from a stringed instrument.

"Kim!" a voice shouted from below the window.

Kim moved herself awkwardly out of bed, grabbing a pair of crutches that were placed against the nightstand and half-hopping her way to the window. She looked down at the lawn below. It was getting dark, but the moon was only just rising, and there was enough light to make out two figures:

Ron Stoppable. Steve Barkin.

"...Ron?"

She watched as Ron simply nodded in response. Steve Barkin was holding what looked to Kim like a lute or a mandolin, on which he played the gentle melody that had entered her bedroom. As she gaped in astonishment at the unlikely scene, Ron bobbed his head to the melody, cleared his throat, and began to sing.

_Kim, I've been stupid_

_ And maybe I blew it_

_ But will you please give me a chance?_

_ It's over with Bonnie,_

_ And I'll be your Ronnie_

_ If you want some Ron Man romance._

Kim stared, half in amazement, half in horror. Mr. Barkin began to add backing vocals as he strummed the lute. Neighborhood cats began to screech, and dogs howled at the moon.

_You know it's a fact_

_ That I've got your back_

_ Whether we end up lovers or friends._

_ So KP, please harken_

_ To me and Steve Barkin_

_ As we try to make friendship mend._

The song drew to a close, receiving an ovation of howls and hisses from the nocturnal creatures which it had riled up. Mr. Barkin extended his playing hand and took a bow, while Ron let out a sigh of relief at the completion of his song.

"Stoppable, can I go now?"

"Yeah, thanks Mr. B."

"No problem. Also, remember, no one hears about this. EVER!"

Kim watched as Mr. Barkin left her yard. She never would have guessed that he played the lute. Seeing him at school on Monday was going to be an awkward experience. She looked down at her best friend, who seemed to be waiting for some kind of answer to his song. "Ron, that was maybe the weirdest thing you've ever done."

"Yeah, but was it badical enough for you?"

"I'm not sure about that."

Kim watched her friend stare up at the window with a disheartened look in his eyes. She had to admit the song was weirdly romantic. And this was certainly a change from laying in bed and moping.

"What do you want me to say, Ron?"

"You don't have to say anything right now. It's Ron Night, KP. Let's just hang out!"

A smile crossed Kim's faced after she gave Ron's proposal a moment of thought. "Alright. I'll hang out if you promise to stop waking up the whole neighborhood. Meet me at the front door. Give me a minute to get down there, I'm not dressed yet."

Kim closed the window and began to change out of her pajamas into a suitable outfit, although it was fairly difficult as she was not yet used to her injury. She knew she could not turn Ron down after he had at least attempted to write a song for her, and strung Barkin along to boot. How he had pulled that off, she couldn't even guess. Her spirits were already lifting with the knowledge that their friendship would be alright after all. _Heck_, she thought. _Why not give him a chance and see how tonight goes? Maybe Shego was right. Josh was nice enough, but he never did anything like this._

"Mom, Dad, I'm going out with Ron!" she yelled as she passed through the kitchen on the way to the front door.

"Hold on a minute, honey!"

Kim skidded to a halt as her mother came in from the living room. Anne Possible had just heard what sounded like Ron Stoppable singing a song outside the house, and she couldn't be sure, but there was something about the way her daughter had said it... "Going out as in, _going out_?"

Her daughter blushed.

"Okay honey. You have fun. And I'm sure I can talk your father into giving you a little extension on that curfew." Anne smiled as her daughter raced out the door as fast as her pair of crutches could carry her. Josh was friendly enough, but she had been waiting for Kim and Ron to wake up and smell the roses.

"Hey, KP! Couldn't resist the Ron Man's charms, huh?"

Kim rolled her eyes as she limped out onto the patio. "If you say so."

"I thought we could just hang out at the Bueno Nacho. What do you say?"

Kim shook her head as she perched awkwardly behind Ron in the scooter, holding on to her crutches so they wouldn't fall off while they were driving. "Not tonight, Ron. I have someplace else in mind. Maybe I was inspired by your little ditty. I'm thinking we need to do something a little more unusual for our first date."

They were already halfway down the street before Ron realized what his best friend had just said.


	9. Harakaraoke

**Harakaraoke**

XX

James Possible flipped off the television as the episode of the show he was watching ended. As he walked into the kitchen to get a drink, he noticed Anne Possible sitting at the kitchen table with a happy expression.

"What was that awful music I was hearing outside earlier, honey?"

"Oh, that was Ron. He and Kim are out for the night. They're going to need a little extension on their curfew, by the way."

"Ronald? Kimmie-cub? Serenading? Out? Curfew?" James felt his mind heat up with a jumble of conflicting thoughts. Anne's amused nod seemed to confirm his suspicions. He had a brief overwhelming urge to go to the Middleton Space Center and prep a deep space probe for launch, but the feeling subsided after a moment. James got a drink out of the refrigerator and sat down next to his wife.

"So I guess that Mankey boy is out of the picture, is he?"

"I suppose so."

"Hmm. I always had a bad feeling about that boy. Did you know he wasn't a fan of _Captain Constellation_? And that frosted hair... made him seem a little bit like show folk, if you ask me."

Anne rolled her eyes. "Kim doesn't like that show either, James, and you love her. Your didn't like Josh because you didn't know him and he was dating your daughter. Josh is a perfectly nice boy. Always well behaved when he was over."

Josh was a nice boy, Anne thought, but he wasn't Ron. Anne wondered where Kim and Ron were planning to go for the night. She looked at a photo of the two of them taped to the refrigerator door and smiled. Kim would have to dish out the details when she got back.

XX

A busy downtown Middleton sidewalk lit by street lamps bustled with pedestrians enjoying the night out. The honks of passing cars added to a thrum of conversations, shouts, and laughter that pulsed through the air. Several young party-goers passed by a dark alleyway as they headed to the closest bar. Lost in their enjoyment of the evening, they did not notice the telltale movement of a few cardboard boxes stacked against one of the alley walls.

The boxes were thrown aside as a mangy-looking figure stood up, blue skin barely visible in the dim light that reached into the alley from the street. He cringed at the noise of the revelers walking by just yards away from him. After running aimlessly about for an unknown amount of time, Drakken had ended up wandering through Middleton until, exhausted, he had hidden himself amongst the refuse of the alley. His invisible appendages were covered by gloves, shoes, and clothing, but he knew it was only a matter of time before a blue jumpsuit was all that was left of him.

Why had Shego left him? It had been days, weeks, months – okay, he really had no idea, but a long time – since his gorgeous green sidekick left to get the antidote to his affliction, and he had not heard anything from her since then. Obviously she had decided to go solo, or perhaps she had gotten tired of his constant failures. It wasn't his fault his schemes always failed, it was that cursed teen do-gooder, Kim Possible! Whatever the reason, Shego was gone, Drakken was still sporting invisible appendages, and he had nowhere left to go. His mother would find him – she was a bipedal bloodhound in yellow and green floral print – and she would inevitably embarrass him into nonexistence. He was doomed.

Shoulders slouched in defeat as Drakken walked aimlessly down the alley, away from the busy Middleton street. He let out a screech that was several octaves higher than usual when an alley cat leaped out from a group of trash cans with a loud crash. After taking several twists and turns through dark passageways lit only by the yellow light from open windows overhead, he suddenly found himself stepping out onto another open sidewalk. This street was a little less busy, but there were still more than enough passersby to pose a threat.

Drakken no longer cared. Let them come. Lost in a self-pitying daze, he passed by a familiar looking bar and restaurant and idly noticed the neon sign in the window. What was this? Drakken smiled fatalistically as he read it. He had been here before, with Shego, on many other Friday nights.

Karaoke nights.

XX

Shego streaked through the night sky in Dr. Drakken's hovercraft, watching as Middleton roads passed by beneath her. After Drakken's mother had informed her of his disappearance – not literally, but out the lair's front door – she had rushed to the hovercraft and taken off without knowing where she was going. She could understand why Drakken needed to escape from his mother in his precarious situation, but things were not looking good. After flying aimlessly about for almost half an hour, she realized that it was Friday night. It was a gamble, a hunch she couldn't shake off, but there was one place Drakken might be. She didn't think even Drakken could be that stupid, but then perhaps he was looking for her.

_Beep-bee-BE-beep!_

Shego jumped at the unexpected sound emanating from her pocket. She pulled out a blue device while trying to pilot the hovercraft with one hand. Kimmie's Kimmunicator. Shego had almost forgotten about the device after she had used it to locate her jet in the Amazon.

"Hello?" she asked, accepting the incoming call. A boy's face appeared on the screen.

"Whoa, Kim? Did you change your hair?"

"Try again, nerd boy."

"Oh, right. Shego." Wade frowned. "I forgot you still have her Kimmunicator. Shouldn't you give that back?"

"Yeah, I'm on that right now. After all, it's not nice to steal other people's property!" Shego gave the screen a mock pout and laughed.

"Alright, I guess I was asking for that."

"By the way, before you go, is there any way you can, like, use your computer magic to track down my boss?"

"Why are you looking for him? Going out on a Friday night date?" It was Wade's turn to return the mocking tone Shego had given him.

"None of your business, dork."

"Well, if you're going to take that tone, I have no idea where he is!"

"Rrrrgh!" Shego wished she could reach through the Kimmunicator and throttle the boy.

"By the way, Shego? It's not nice to use something that's not yours. You might want to get your hands off that Kimmunicator pretty quickly."

"What?"

Shego watched as Wade's face was replaced with a countdown timer that started at five seconds. She raised an eyebrow in confusion, but then realized the cheeky kid was making sure she and Drakken couldn't use his technology for nefarious purposes. She cursed and threw the Kimmunicator from the side of the hovercraft just before it was vaporized in midair by a small burst of flame. No matter; the sight of a familiar street ahead of her told Shego that she would be at her destination in no time.

XX

"I didn't know you were a fan of karaoke, KP!"

Kim and Ron sat at a small table in the middle of a fairly crowded restaurant and bar, eating dinner. People milled about the room, smoking and drinking. Technically teens were not supposed to be admitted, but the restaurant's owner knew of Kim and her sidekick – although he couldn't quite recall the sidekick's name – and let them in, knowing they would not be drinking or causing any trouble. The food was alright, but the main attraction of the evening was the procession of mediocre singers belting out 80's songs from the stage in front of the room.

"I don't know if I am or not, really. I haven't even done it before. But I thought it would be a fun thing to do." Kim wasn't going to mention it quite yet, but she was also intending to see Ron repeat his musical prowess once their dinner was finished.

"Makes sense to me," said Ron.

"By the way, I don't think I ever said thanks for showing up in the Amazon and helping me out, even though I didn't ask you to come. So thanks. I guess I should be thanking Wade for that one, too."

"No big, KP. Thanks for not tearing my face off when I was dating Bonnie."

"You never know, Ron. Maybe I'm just waiting to catch your face off guard."

Ron laughed nervously, but edged a few inches farther away from the table. Just to be safe. The room burst into applause as middle-aged man in a toupee finished his song, bowing and exiting the stage. An announcer walked up to the podium which sat at the front of the stage and cleared his throat in front of the microphone.

"Alright, let's give another round of applause to Mr. Leibowitz!" the announcer said, wincing at a sudden burst of feedback. "Up next, we have a karaoke regular, ready to serenade us with a sweet song! Please welcome Mr. Blue!"

The audience began to applaud, but it tapered off anticlimactically as they recognized the familiar figure who walked on stage. Ron and Kim's eyes bugged out as the watched their foe stand in front of the podium nervously and peer at the crowd. Doctor Drakken?

Drakken looked out over his audience with heavily lidded eyes. His breath reeked of alcohol. He had been sitting, hunched over at the bar and squeezed between other restaurant-goers, trying to drown his misery in drink. Some part of him had thought that perhaps Shego would be here on a Friday night, and it felt like where he needed to be, but she was nowhere to be found. Now there was only one thing left to do.

"Um, hello Middleton! I would like to perform a rendition of 'Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want' by The Smiths. I want to dedicate it to my former employee and bestest friend, Shego, who recently deserted me and left me to die. Thank you!"

There was an awkward silence from the restaurant crowd, interrupted only by a couple of lonely claps. The announcer walked back to the stage and spoke to Drakken in a low voice. "You know, you can't choose your own song tonight. This is Karaoke Roulette night. You just have to press the button on the machine here."

"Oh. Well then, let me see..." Drakken pressed the button and began to bob to the beat of the song that came up, watching the video screen for the lyrics.

"Um, KP, is he in trouble?"

Kim could not find the words to respond, but she shook her head. There was no way Drakken would be crazy enough to get up on stage if Shego hadn't cured him with the Aurora Orchid pollen yet. He must be celebrating his newfound freedom.

Drakken coughed nervously as the song began. The crowd cringed in silence at his awful rendition, until someone hooted from a corner of the room. More people joined in and began to laugh at the absurdity of the scene in front of them. Drakken looked around in surprise; normally people weren't _this_ mean on karaoke night.

"Girls... they want to have fuuun. Oooh girls, they just want to have fun..."

The audience's laughter transformed into gasps as Drakken's face began to blur and shift into a transparent haze. What was going on? Kim and Ron stood up in shock; there was no saving him now! Drakken noticed the reactions from the crowd and placed his gloved hands over his rapidly disappearing face, as if to try to keep his features from fading into the ether.

Gasps turned to screams when a window behind the stage suddenly shattered as a green and black shape tumbled through it and bowled Drakken over. Audience members ran out of the room wildly, already unsettled by Drakken's disappearing act and tipped over the edge by this new disturbance. Shego got up off of her boss's prone form, glass shards falling from her body, and got out a plastic bag that she had been carrying. She opened the bag and sprinkled its contents out over Drakken, who was now little more than a pair of confused eyes floating next to a seemingly empty blue suit. His face gradually reappeared, and a newly formed mouth smiled with joy at the sight of his sidekick.

"Shego! You saved me!"

Shego leaned over and grabbed Drakken roughly by the collar of his blue uniform, jerking him up to his feet. "Yeah, you're welcome Doctor D. Now we're going back to your lair, and I'm gonna bat you around like a punching bag right before you agree to give me a huge bonus and I take a nice bubble bath. Okay? Okay." Drakken was dragged along unceremoniously as Shego weaved her way through the empty tables and upturned chairs of the restaurant. "Karaoke? What in the world were you thinking?"

Drakken stumbled past Kim and Ron's table with a glazed look in his eyes. "Kim Possible!" he shouted, pointing at this teen foe. "You know, let me tell you, you really are all that. No, seriously..." Drakken hiccuped as Shego jerked him aside, looking at the two teens as if noticing them for the first time.

"Hey Princess."

"Uh.... hey Shego."

"Out for a night on the town, huh?" Shego gave the teen hero and her sidekick a curious look as they stood next to a table holding their almost-finished dinners. "So, I take it you took my advice?"

Ron looked confused, but Kim suddenly developed a deep blush.

"Better watch out, Kimmie. You might turn invisible if you keep that up." Shego gave her teen foe a brief wink before she pulled Drakken out the front door of the restaurant and disappeared into the night.

The restaurant became deathly silent. Most of the diners had run away in fright from the commotion, although a couple of people were still eating dinner in a corner of the room as if they hadn't noticed anything, while a few particularly drunk bar patrons were slumped over on their stools. Kim and Ron shrugged and sat back down to finish their dinners, but Kim noticed that her cell phone was vibrating. She had been so distracted by the unexpected entertainment that she hadn't noticed someone was trying to call her.

"Hey Wade, sitch me!" Kim said as she pulled out her cell phone. She still hadn't gotten a chance to replace her Kimmunicator, and she assumed that asking Shego to give it back was a lost cause.

"Shego is in Middleton! Judging by the tracking chip, she's very near Ron's location!"

Kim laughed. "No duh, Wade! We just caught her here at the restaurant."

"Oh, cool. So everything's fine?"

"Yep."

"She didn't try to make you invisible?"

"No, it looks like she wasn't lying back in the Amazon when she said Drakken had sprayed himself. Thanks for sending Ron out there to help me, by the way."

Wade grinned deviously. "No problem, Kim. I knew you guys needed to work a few things out. It's not a mission if Ron isn't there losing his pants, after all." The phone grew silent as Wade realized what Kim had said earlier about catching Shego at a restaurant. "So how's Ron? You guys went out to eat, huh?"

Kim smiled. She began to develop a sneaking suspicion that perhaps Wade had other aims in mind when he sent Ron to help her in the rainforest. "You're pretty sneaky, you know that Wade? I'll talk to you later."

Kim pocketed the phone and watched her best friend eating his remaining food in the silence of the now close to empty restaurant. Their relationship was still brand new – Kim was not even sure how to treat Ron as anything beyond her best friend, even though she was starting to feel something new – but she was optimistic about it.

There was no rush of feeling like there had been with Josh, no dazed euphoria. What was there was more subdued, but genuine, and it was building on deep emotions that had already been there for years. Kim supposed that she and Ron would take it step by step, and see where their steps carried them. After all, she thought, the longer you walked, the more likely you were to end up somewhere totally different.

Kim eyed Ron across the table. "So, not talking to you for the last couple weeks, that sure sucked, huh?"

"Yeah, you're telling me."

"From now on, why don't we both talk to each other whenever we have problems, okay? I don't want to go through that again... it was hard to deal when I didn't have my best friend to talk about things with."

Ron smiled. "I know what you mean. That sounds like a good idea to me."

Kim poked at her food with a fork as she considered recent events. "Hey Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking about what you said in the rainforest, and you know, I really do take you for granted sometimes. Like when I've gotten so distracted by Josh, or even Walter Nelson."

Ron nodded. "Walter Nelson was a bad sitch. But then, I don't know... you _were_ like twelve back then, KP."

"Well, you know what I mean. The thing is, I'm not going to take you for granted anymore, okay? I think the last couple of weeks have really showed me how important you are to me."

It was Ron's turn to blush. "So no more getting stuck in janitor's closets, huh?" Ron was able to have a sense of humor about the incident since time had passed, but it was still a bit of a sore spot, and it was definitely not funny when it happened.

"No. No more janitor's closets, that's for sure."

Kim finished the rest of her own meal and got up, giving Ron with a look that made him feel increasingly nervous.

"What's up Kim?"

He gulped as she walked over to the karaoke machine. It wouldn't be karaoke night if one of them didn't sing at least once, and Kim certainly did not feel up to it. Ron, however, had proven he was up to the task. But what song would be appropriate for such a special occasion? Kim pursed her lips thoughtfully as she flipped through the selections. Her fingers stood still as her eyes rested on a song performed by Britina. Yes... this one would be perfect.


	10. Break a Leg, Not an Ankle!

**Break a Leg, Not an Ankle!**

XX

The Middleton gym was filled to the brim with excited students and their families. Upbeat music pumped through the gym speakers as the audience sat on the bleachers, eating snacks and taking pictures of the weekend contest. The_ Teen Cheer_ 'Best Cheerleader in the Midwestern United States Area' contest had been going on for at least a couple hours already, as various cheerleaders from both Middleton and nearby schools entered the gym floor individually and performed their routine in front of their excited families, a set of judges watching from a card table set up to the side of the room. A _Teen Cheer_ journalist was also on hand, looking a little bored and waiting for a winner to be picked when the contest ended.

Ron Stoppable sat towards the center of the bleachers with his friend Monique, watching his arch administrative foe – at least, that is how he had viewed the man until recently – sitting at the judge's table. There was a break between contestants, so Steve Barkin looked up and noticed his troublesome student watching him. He gave his student a subtle wink; however, Ron returned it with a wild wave and thumbs up. Barkin cringed and shook his head emphatically at Ron. Nobody could ever find out what had happened on that Friday evening if his reputation was going to survive.

"So I guess Kim thought it'd be a little too weird to come watch the contest, huh?" Monique asked.

"Yeah, I just wanted to be here for Bonnie."

"I'm gonna have to take your word for it, Ron. I still can't believe you were going out with her. It's probably a good thing Kim ain't here, seeing as the two of them would be duking it out."

Ron shook his head. "Nah, I don't think so. I think Bonnie is really going to try to change. Kim didn't believe me at first either, but I think I convinced her to give Bonnie the benefit of the doubt for a while."

"By the way, you think our girl Kim is upset about not being in the contest?"

"Maybe a little, but I think she's mostly cool with it. She said the contest was kind of a vanity thing anyway, since you get a big cover article and an interview about yourself if you win. She felt like she got enough press as it was, and that Bonnie would probably be happier winning the contest."

"Sounds fair to me."

The two of them were interrupted by an announcer as the current performing cheerleader's routine ended. "Next up," the announcer shouted, "Tara King!"

The bubbly platinum blond cheerleader bounced out onto the gym floor and began her routine as the music track shifted to a driving dance mix. Ron was impressed by her moves; Tara definitely would have given Kim a run for her money. He watched the performance with rapt attention until Monique tapped him on the shoulder.

"You guys are going to ask me on your next date, right? I could give you pointers! Ron, I _know_ you gotta be needing some romance tips from the pros!"

Ron sputtered. "What? The Ron Man's got it going on, Monique! How could you say that! Besides, how long was your last relationship? Like two weeks?"

"That's low, boy." Monique leaned back with her arms crossed petulantly before her eyes suddenly widened. "Hey, wait a minute. What about you and Kim? How long did _your_ last relationships last?"

Ron looked sheepish. "Touché."

"Uh huh. That's what I thought!"

Tara's routine ended and the blond cheerleader skipped away from the gym floor. Her brilliant blue eyes were shining as her family let out a particularly loud cheer from the bleachers. The judges wrote notes down on their pads of paper, nodding to each other as if impressed by the performance.

XX

"Up next, Bonnie Rockwaller!"

Bonnie walked out into the brightly lit gym floor, passing by Tara as she walked towards the locker rooms after having just completed her own routine. "That was a great job, Tara," she said to her friend.

Tara looked taken aback – they had not talked in a while – but she gave a hesitant smile. "Thanks."

Bonnie surveyed the large audience crowded onto the gym bleachers. She was nervous, more nervous than she knew was manageable; her breakup with Ron was still very recent, and she was definitely not over it yet. She had even considered dropping out of the contest, but it wasn't her style. That, and her sisters would never let her hear the end of it. She saw her sisters in the bleachers amongst the audience members, watching her intently. They weren't attending the contest to support her, but rather in hopes that they would see her choke up or fail. Bonnie had wanted the two of them to see her earlier, because she knew she could win, but now she wasn't so sure.

Despite her sisters' attendance at the contest, Bonnie's family was actually the one bright spot of the last few days. They were not being nice to her, but something in their behavior had changed after the dinner, after the way Ron had spoke to Lonnie and the way he and Bonnie had stormed out. It was almost as if her family was giving her a wide berth, not trying to walk on her anymore. Maybe some kind of dynamic had changed; Bonnie hoped it would stay that way.

The fact that Kim Possible was not competing due to a broken ankle had only reached her earlier that day. She had mixed feelings towards the news. On the one hand, Kim was her greatest competition, but on the other hand it was unfortunate that she wouldn't get an opportunity to defeat her cheerleading rival. Bonnie looked over the audience sitting in the bleachers, wondering who else was there, and noticed a familiar face that caught her breath.

Ron Stoppable was watching the competition. Bonnie hadn't talked to him since their breakup and hadn't really expected him to attend the cheer contest, but here he was. Ron noticed her, waved, and gave her an encouraging thumbs up, mouthing _you can do it!_ above the din of the audience. Perhaps, she thought, Ron wasn't just saying things when he told her he still wanted to be friends. She felt her nervousness melt away as her song choice began to play over the gym loudspeakers. She walked into place, steeling herself up for her routine.

_1... 2... 3... 4..._

Bonnie kept the beat in the back of her mind as she began to twirl and gyrate, shaking her pom-pons in spirals. The audience watched in rapt attention as her routine began to pick up steam, the music pulsing through the room, driving her on. Ron watched her performance and noticed several moves that he had helped her practice. They weren't exact enough to have been stolen from Kim, but if Kim had been watching, she would gotten a vague idea that maybe somebody in particular gave Bonnie a little help on the side. Monique glanced over at Ron with amusement and noticed that he was trying to pretend he wasn't too interested in the hypnotic movements of Bonnie's performance. What a thoughtful boyfriend.

Bonnie performed several flips that made the audience gasp. As she vaulted back to the center of the mat on the gym floor and spiraled flawlessly into the finale of her routine, the judges watched with looks of approval. Finally, the music grew to a crescendo as Bonnie moved her pom-pons over her waist and shook her lower body – way too seductively, if you asked some of the parents in the audience – and performed a final flip, landing in a split on the mat with her chest heaving and arms triumphantly in the air.

The audience burst into applause. The gym filled with flashing lights and clicking sounds as audience members took pictures of the stunning performer. Bonnie flipped her hair back and struck a glamorous pose, lips pouted and hands on her hips. "Thank you, thank you! You're all too kind!" Her words could not even be heard through the din of the applause. Bonnie was in her element.

XX

The girl's locker room had been unbearably crowded after the contest ended, but it was emptying out as cheer squads from other schools finished gathering their things and walked out into the gym to get to their buses and families. The only girls remaining were a few members of the Middleton Mad Dogs cheer squad who sat around on the changing benches, listening with interest – and a little envy - to the ongoing conversation between Bonnie Rockwaller and the _Teen Cheer_ journalist. The Middleton cheerleaders had performed last in the competition since it was hosted at their school, and Bonnie was one of the last ones to perform her routine, so it hadn't taken long for the judges to announce the contest winner.

The journalist stuck a tape recorder under Bonnie's nose. "Now that you've won the contest and been voted the best cheerleader in the area of the Midwestern United States, you'll have a chance to compete in _Teen Cheer's_ national contest. How do you feel about that?"

Bonnie leaned in close to the tape recorder being held at her. "Well Donna," she said with a flutter of her eyelashes, "I'm just grateful to have the opportunity to share my skill with the rest of the world!"

"Is there anyone you'd like to thank for your success?"

Bonnie thought for a moment. She had no interest in thanking her family. Ron was a possibility, however. She was about to speak when she noticed a familiar blond Middleton cheerleader listening to the conversation in a corner of the locker room while she pretended to shift through the contents of her locker.

"Yes, I would like to thank someone, Donna. My friend, Tara King. She's on the cheer squad with me and we've been tight for a long time. Sometimes I take her for granted, but she's always had my back, even when I'm being a little heinous towards her."

The journalist clicked off the tape recorder and packed it in her bag. "Alright, that was good. I'll be sure to get it in the magazine. Thanks for the interview, and nice job winning the contest. Now I'm off to drink for the rest of the night." Donna slung her bag over her back and left the girl's locker room, wondering how her degree in journalism had led her to the job of interviewing shallow teen drama queens.

The other cheerleaders left, leaving the locker room empty except for Tara and Bonnie. Tara closed her locker and turned to her friend.

"Thanks for saying that, Bonnie."

"Oh, it's no big." She realized that was something she had heard Ron say. Maybe he had rubbed off on her a little. "Tara, I'm sorry about going out with Ron. I was doing it to rile Kim up, at least at first, and that was childish of me. I know you had a bit of a crush on Ron for a while there, so I can see why it bothered you. That's all over now though, and I think things are going to be a little different from now on. Are we going to be okay?"

Tara smiled. "Sure, Bonnie. Even though I _totally_ should have beaten you in the contest!"

Bonnie laughed as she walked out into the gym with her friend. The audience had gotten off of the bleachers and were milling around on the gym floor; many of the out-of-towners were leaving to take the trip back home, but a lot of the Middleton students and their families were chatting with each other and enjoying the refreshments that had been provided for the event. Connie and Lonnie had long since left, crushed by their little sister achieving something they had never come close to doing while in high school.

Bonnie jumped in surprise as Brick Flagg appeared out of nowhere, walking towards her through the crowd of people. Tara squeezed her friend's arm and departed, sensing what was about to happen.

"Hey Bonbon," said Brick. "Nice job winning the contest. You know, I was thinking, maybe breaking up with you was a bad idea. You want to give it another chance?"

Bonnie snorted. Perhaps if the last couple of weeks had gone differently, she would be agreeing with him and getting back together; that had happened before, after all. But something was different now. She remembered what Ron had told her in the park after they had dinner with her family. She remembered Lonnie's fiancée, Chad Post, who had certainly been as dumb as one. Bonnie realized that Chad and Lonnie were a vague image of where she might be in the future if she took a certain path.

"Brick, I broke up with _you_. Thanks for the offer sweetie, but get lost."

Brick Flagg was taken aback. He coughed several times and scratched the back of his head in mock indifference, sauntering off into the crowd before further embarrassment could occur, even though several students had noticed the exchanged and tittered in amusement to each other. Bonnie was about to go for some punch at a nearby refreshments table when another figure made his way through the audience, almost before Brick had disappeared: Josh Mankey.

"Hey Bonnie!"

"Hey Josh."

"Nice job in the contest. This might be a bit sudden, but I was wondering if you wanted to go get something to eat with me sometime."

This time, Bonnie was taken aback. Two guys asking her out in the space of a minute? Even for Bonnie, this was some kind of record. Winning this cheer contest was paying dividends already. Josh's offer was tempting. He had the hot artist thing going on, he seemed a little friendlier and more intelligent than Brick, and it would certainly enrage Kim, especially after she had just gone out with Ron. But after a moment of thought, Bonnie decided she was not in the mood to cause any more trouble. What was more, she did not mind being single. In the past, she often felt like a boyfriend was a necessary accessory for any successful teen girl, but now she was having second thoughts. Perhaps she could enjoy some time to herself.

"You know, I'm flattered by the offer Josh, but I'm gonna say no." She noticed Josh's crestfallen look, and then watched Tara chatting with a nearby group of students. Gears began to churn in Bonnie's mind. A devious plan rose up from the depths of her thoughts and took shape as she grabbed Josh by the arm. "While you're here though Josh, you know my friend Tara, right? She's single and _so_ ready to mingle!"

Bonnie pulled Josh towards Tara's group of students and was pleased to see the two of them begin to engage in conversation. Once again, she was about to make a beeline for the punch bowl set up near the bleachers when two more people approached her.

"Hey Bonnie," said Monique in an unusually friendly tone. "That performance was seriously T.C.F.S., girl!. Congrats!"

"Um, thanks Monique." Bonnie had not really expected the compliment. She was also having a hard time deciphering it.

Ron nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that was totally badical, Bonnie. I knew you'd win. Me and Monique are going to get out of here before the traffic gets too bad in the parking lot, but we'll see you at school on Monday, right?"

Bonnie nodded. "Sure Ron. And thank you." She wasn't exactly sure if she was thanking him for the compliment or for something else, but he seemed to understand what she meant. The two of them walked towards the gym doors as Ron turned around one final time, giving Bonnie a wave on their way out.

Bonnie sighed in relief as she finally got to the refreshments table without further interruption and filled a cup with punch. The intense performance had worn her out, and drinking from the locker room water fountain did not quite hit the spot. She downed the punch in one gulp, waving and posing for various people who congratulated her as they passed.

Seeing Ron still stung, but strangely enough, there was a good feeling inside her. Bonnie always pretended to be on top of things, in control, but that feeling seemed to be more genuine now than it had been in a while. She looked forward to school on Monday. Her relationship with Ron had started off badly, never getting a chance to bloom. It had burned away before it could grow into what it could have been. Bonnie accepted this. It would take some time, but she knew she could deal with it, because from its ashes, a new friendship was being born.

XX

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_**Notes** - That's it. Reviews are welcome, I try to respond to all of them._

_For some reason this story has easily been my most popular so far. I am happy with how it turned out, but I dunno if I see it as that much better than my other stories, so who knows what makes things popular. I'm glad people liked it though. If you liked this story, check out my others!_


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